Page 5 of Stripping Little Seraphina
Before she could say another word, I shoved the door shut. The latch clicked into place, muffling the silence on the other side. I locked it and exhaled a loud sigh followed by a grunt that came from low in my diaphragm, exploding from my mouth.
I leaned against the door for a long, shaking breath before stumbling to my bed. My blanket, my bear, my whole little nest felt hollow now. Not safe. Even though she hadn’t been inside, the residue of her presence seemed to linger on everything making me question every life decision up to this point.
Hot tears spilled as I crawled beneath the blanket, dragging my laptop onto my knees. My fingers flew, fueled by anger and humiliation.
Master E,
Thank you for everything you’ve done to make this program feel safe. But I’m withdrawing. Please don’t worry about a refund—I understand the policies. Thisjust isn’t for me. I can’t keep forcing something that clearly doesn’t fit. I appreciate everything I’ve learned but I’m going to try a different path.
Seraphina
I read it once, twice. Then, before I could second-guess myself, I hit send.
Finally, I shut the laptop and let the sobs come, muffled into the fleece of my blanket.
Tomorrow, I told myself. Tomorrow I’d start forgetting this whole mess and book my flight back home. Not feeling like the Disney Cruise was appropriate any more, I’d cancel it tomorrow as well.
Screw this. My parents were right. Hopefully it wasn’t too late to show them that I could be their good girl. Then everything else would fall into place. It just had to.
Suddenly feeling like I was suffocating, I threw the blanket off me and sat up. When that wasn’t enough, I ran to the window and opened it, letting the cooler night air rush me.
I see… Darkness. The window frame. The outline of trees. Stars shining down on me. The fullest moon.
I hear… People chattering. The crunch of somebody walking across gravel. My own heavy breathing. The TV muttering the words from a cartoon I wasn’t watching.
I smell… Freshly cut grass. Manure. Wood burning in a fire.
I taste… The mint from my toothpaste. Cherry pie I’d been craving for weeks and finally gotten a slice of.
I am… Brave. Beautiful. Creative. Important. Worthy. Able. Wonderful. Fun. Joyous…
Breathing became an afterthought as my body relaxed into its normal routine and my systems regulated.
Everything will work out how it is meant to.
I closed my eyes and prayed that I was strong enough to endure it.
Chapter Two
Vasiah
I barely slept. Not because the bed in Master E’s guest room wasn’t comfortable—it was. Too comfortable if I were honest. But the guilt sitting heavy on my chest wouldn’t let me rest.
I’d failed.
Not just Emerson, who had come home from his test two weeks ago looking gutted, like Sera had been right all along but I hadn’t bothered to listen. He’d spent the entire weekend in his room not saying anything to me. When it was time to leave for his Mother’s house, he’d waited outside for her with headphones on. According to her, he’d continued that same behavior with her while I was gone. When I called his phone to check on him, he sent me to voicemail and texted me that he was fine and wasn’t in the mood to talk.
It felt like shit to be ousted that way. He hadn’t been disrespectful at all. He’d used his words like I’d shown him and I respected his boundaries. He was still eating us out of house and home, drinking water, and working out so there wasn’t much I could complain about. I did need to find a way to break through the barrier, though.
Not just with my son, who needed more of me than I ever seemed able to give.
But Sera, too.
The look in her eyes when she’d slammed that door last night still haunted me. Disbelief, betrayal, and something sharper, like I’d confirmed every awful thing she already thought about me. I’d meant to make it right. Instead, I’d pushed her further away. And now I was here, in Master E’s space, because there wasn’t any availability for a room at the Ranch. I’d canceled the original reservation that I’d had, because I didn’t know how long I’d be busy with work. When I’d contacted them to rebook, they didn’t have a room for the first few nights and then there would be a cabin available.
I was just happy that Master E had allowed me to bunk with him. I’d planned to spend most of my time getting to know Seraphina, but it looked like I needed to start fresh with all my thoughts about her. It wasn’t a welcoming situation, I was working from ground zero. Maybe even from negative thirty two. Rooming with her, though she had a spare room was out of the question right now. I didn’t even want to approach that concept with her. For now, I was okay right here.
The door creaked after a brief knock and opened just after dawn. Master E–or Ezra as I called him, stepped in, shoulders broad, expression unreadable. I sat up, heart thudding, and braced myself.
