Page 30 of Heirs and Graces at Highland Hall
She lifted her glass, for Bex to clink, but Bex left her drink where it was. Ignoring an expression like that was easier said than done. Not that she even tried.
‘What is it? What are you not saying?’
‘Oh, I don’t know.’ Eilidh avoided her eyes as she spoke. ‘I’m just being silly. But I kind of thought that you coming back here, you and Duncan would reignite things. Then we’d have you here forever.’
Bex laughed, trying to suppress the ache that spread through her chest. ‘You didn’t really think that would happen, did you?’
‘Oh, I absolutely did.’
Eilidh let out a sigh as she dropped down onto the sofa, at which point Bex followed. She didn’t feel quite so like celebrating now after all.
‘I know that’s what everyone thinks should happen,’ she said, staring at the floor. ‘But Duncan and I are complicated. It’s not that I don’t love him. I adore him. But we have to think long term.’
‘I don’t mean to be awkward, but why? If it’s love then it’s love.’
‘We’re adults,’ Bex said, wishing she didn’t have to explain herself to people like this. ‘We have to be practical.’
‘That seems insane.’
‘Really?’ Bex didn’t bother hiding her feelings as she lifted her eyebrows so high they butted her hairline. ‘As insane as being in love with your best friend for a decade and doing nothing about it?’
Eilidh’s demeanour shifted immediately. Her jaw tightened.
‘Niall and I are friends. Just friends.’
‘But you’re not,’ Bex said. ‘You’re best friends. You call each other all the time. You’re each other’s go-to person. He clearly thinks you’re gorgeous, and you get antsy anytime he mentions going on a date with someone else.’
‘I do not,’ Eilidh snapped, before sinking back slightly. ‘Okay, maybe I do. But that’s only because they’re never good enough for him. I’d be fine if he found someone that actually deserved him… And are we now discussingmylove life?’ Eilidh shot back.
‘Because mine’s complicated and I don’t want to get into it,’ Bex replied.
‘And mine isn’t complicated?’ Eilidh shook her head. ‘Niall and I have been best friends since we were three years old. Taking that chance… we could lose everything. The foundation of all our memories could implode if it didn’t work out. It’s not worth that risk.’
‘And that’s exactly what it’s like with me and Duncan,’ Bex said. ‘The chance of a happily ever after, of me finding a way to make ends meet in this tiny village, isn’t going to happen. AndI know Duncan would move to London if I asked him to, but I’d never ask him. He’d hate it. This is where he’s happy. And I can’t give up everything I’ve spent my entire adult life working towards, because if I did, I’d end up resenting him.’ She shook her head, unable to find the words to explain the hurt she knew it would cause. ‘It’s a lose-lose situation.’
Eilidh scratched her temple. ‘It doesn’t have to be,’ she said. ‘You could find a way, if that’s what you really want.’
‘Well, maybe that’s the answer, isn’t it?’ Bex said. ‘Maybe we don’t want it enough.’
Yet, as the words left her mouth, a dull ache throbbed behind her sternum. Was that the problem? Did she not love Duncan as much as she’d convinced herself she did? Or did she love him so much that she’d got out before she ended up irrevocably broken?
The silence between them stretched, neither willing to speak first. For a moment, Bex feared they’d sit there forever until the front door clicked open.
‘Hey, guys!’ Lorna said as she stepped into the living room. ‘Oh great, we’re drinking already. I’ll grab a glass. Who’s ready to sort out outfits?’
Bex and Eilidh exchanged a quick look, the tension of their previous conversation still fizzing around them. Yet with a slight nod, they silently agreed that now was not the time to continue the conversation.
‘Sure.’ Bex smiled at Lorna as she grabbed the bottle of prosecco. ‘It sounds like just the type of distraction we need.’
25
Moira lived in a detached, whitewashed house at the far end of the village. Loch View Cottage was what the sign on the gate said. And the loch view part made sense, but as for cottage? It was at least three times bigger than Lorna’s place, and plenty big enough for a large family home, though as far as Bex was aware, Moira lived on her own. She couldn’t imagine why one woman would need so much space. Although, as she pushed open the gate and stepped inside, the thought was superseded by another.
‘Damn,’ she muttered to herself, stopping on the path so abruptly that Lorna almost went into the back of her.
‘What is it? Everything okay?’
‘I had some things I wanted to ask Moira about. Some photos I wanted to show her,’ Bex replied. After the phone calls with Nigel and Daisy, and then the conversation with Eilidh, she had entirely forgotten to bring them.
