Page 58 of Heirs and Graces at Highland Hall
‘And you might not have said it yet, but I’m pretty sure you still love me, too.’
He lifted her hands and interlocked their fingers. She did. She loved him with every fibre of her body. So much so that her heart ached. A full, all-consuming pain, for which she knew the cure was standing only feet away from him. It would be so much easier to forget everything and lose herself in this moment. But she stopped him with her hand.
‘Don’t,’ she said. ‘Please don’t.’
His frown crinkled. ‘You don’t want this?’
A lump had lodged itself firmly in Bex’s throat, and swallowing did nothing to alleviate it. Still, she had to speak. ‘You have too much going on right now. Too much to think about. This, what you learned tonight. It’s gonna cloud your judgement. You don’t want to do anything you’ll regret.’
He let out a light laugh and brushed his thumb against her jawline. ‘The only thing I regret is not putting a ring on your finger and keeping you in my life forever.’
A stifled gasp choked in Bex’s throat. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? Yes, there was no ambiguity in those words. Duncan wanted to marry her. To be with her forever. And wasn’t that what she wanted too? She knew it was. Yet, as she opened her mouth to respond, Kieron’s words swirled in her head. How she was just making a power-play to be the lady of the manor. He had just raised a toast – his third toast of the entire meal – to her. He had made it seem like they were a thing. And the way they had danced together, straight after the meal? She could hardly blame anyone if they’d jumped to that conclusion.
If she told Duncan she loved him now, that she wanted to be with him, then what would everyone in the village think? That she had separated from him, only to suddenly find him more appealing now that he was worth millions? That she had toyed with Kieron when she’d assumed he would inherit Highland Hall, then flipped back to Duncan when it turned out he was therightful heir? He would be a laughingstock. She couldn’t do that to him.
‘You’ve got bigger things to deal with,’ she said, stepping back and out of his grip and trying to ignore the chill that spread across her skin. ‘Your life’s going to change. And we don’t know if there’s even a place for me in it any more.’
‘What are you on about? There will always be a place for you. Always. Did you not listen to anything I said earlier?’
His gaze was locked on hers. His lips were only inches away.
‘I don’t think that’s enough,’ she said quietly. ‘It’s not right. I’m sorry. Honestly, I’m so, so sorry.’
Then, praying he couldn’t see the tears prick behind her eyes, she turned and walked away from the only man she’d ever truly loved.
47
The next morning, Lorna was in bed nursing what was bound to be a catastrophic hangover while Bex sat on the sofa, her computer on her lap as she debated her life choices.
After her conversation with Duncan, Bex had headed straight home. The way she and Duncan had left things meant her party spirit had very much gone, and the thought of facing Kieron was enough to have her bolting for the door.
It had been another four hours before Lorna staggered in, full of song, not to mention questions about where she had disappeared to for so long and gossip about how drunk and moody Kieron had been when he’d finally kicked them all out. Even though Bex had still been wide awake when she’d heard the front door go, she’d hurriedly closed her eyes and proceeded to keep them closed as she responded to all of Lorna’s comments with a series of low grunts, hopefully giving the impression she was either too drunk or too tired to answer them. Thankfully, Lorna had given up eventually, leaving Bex to toss and turn before finally falling asleep for real, hoping everything would be clearer in the morning.
It wasn’t. And now she had been up for over two hours, staring at an email she’d written when she’d first woken, still unsure whether to send it.
It was the right thing to do, in her heart she knew that, but she just needed some reassurance. It was where to go for said reassurance that was the issue. Ruby had been sitting with her the entire time – other than when Bex had let her out the back door for a wee – but as brilliant a companion as Ruby was, in terms of advice, she was totally useless, meaning Bex needed to look elsewhere for help.
Bex knew there was no point in asking Lorna, or any of her friends in the village, not only because she already knew what their responses would be, but because it would raise a whole heap of questions that weren’t hers to answer. They might only have subjective evidence for now, but she knew what the DNA test was going to show. She would bet everything she owned on it. And with the way village gossip spread, and the strop Kieron had thrown, she was pretty sure that by the end of the week, every resident of LochDarroch would know there was another potential heir in the mix. They might even know that Duncan was top of the suspect list. Which was why she couldn’t say anything. Gossip was bad enough, but when it was someone you loved at the centre of it, someone whose entire life was about to be turned upside down, she refused to be a part of it. But for that same reason – Duncan’s life being tossed into turmoil – she couldn’t go back to London yet. Not until she knew he’d be okay.
With the phone in her hand, Bex debated ringing her parents. They gave sound advice, but would also have questions. What she needed was someone who would listen without prying. What she needed was her oldest friends. And thankfully, Daisy picked up straight away.
‘Hey, is everything all right?’
‘I’m not sure exactly,’ Bex started, only for the tears to well behind her eyes. ‘Actually, no. It’s all a complete mess.’
‘Bex, what is it? What’s happened? What do you need?’
What did she need? She had no idea. To go back in time and make sure Duncan was there to take Fergus’s phone call, so that she’d never been dragged into all this. Or further back in time still, so that they’d never broken up and she could have been there, at his side, to help him deal with it all.
She sniffed, trying to swallow back the tears as she choked out her reply.
‘I think… I think I just need to take some time off work. A couple of weeks. Things here with the will… it’s complicated. I’m not sure I can come back yet.’
‘Then don’t.’ Daisy was straight to the point. And just like Bex had hoped, there were no prying questions asking exactly what was complicated or why it had her in such a state. ‘Why don’t you speak to Nigel? You’ve sacrificed more than enough for that company. He owes you. I’m sure he’ll give you as long as you need.’
Bex swiped at her continuous stream of tears with the back of her hand, only to find it lacked any form of absorbency, and so picked up a pillow and used that instead.
‘You’re right, you’re right,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry for ringing. I’m just being silly.’
