Page 62 of In Between Darkness
The hawk launches from Ryder’s shoulder and flies close to me. I hear a ‘whoosh’ as it glides around my neck, causing me to shiver from the light tickle of air its motion produces. It’s fascinating how the hawks are made of shadows but can still be touched. They can manipulate their shadow density so that they can manifest and dissipate at their whim.
Kyro soars high before returning to Ryder’s shoulder. He’s standing with his arms crossed, waiting for me to conjure the unpredictable vortex.
I hold out my right hand and allow the tingles to take over my mind and body, and soon the orb has returned in all its darkened glory. I send Ryder a cautioning look, and he takes a step back.
“How long do you think you can hold it for?” he asks with trepidation in his voice.
“Your guess is as good as mine,” I state.
I’ve had my Gifts for less than twenty-four hours, so I have no idea how to control or use them.
“In that case, we’d best be quick.”
He turns to Kyro, who is still resting on his shoulder, and gives him an order. He caws in response and leaps straight into the void without hesitation. Ryder’s eyes widen as the wings are sucked in like a vacuum. I feel the same pressure build, like the one that pulled River in.
“For this to work, I need to concentrate on Kyro, on what he’s seeing and feeling in there,” he instructs me. “I might look strange for a second, but don’t panic.”
He sounds so serious, it makes me want to panic, but I remain calm. I watch him closely; his eyes are changing. A soulless black film stretches over them as he stares into the distance. The whites of his eyes are blackened, and I can no longer see his pupils. He blinks hard. He appears to be in some sort of trance. My hand begins pulsating quicker, and the blackened flame ebbs in and out. Focus, Asha. I pour my strength into it, and it begins to steady in my palm.
“Is it working?” I ask, aware of the uncontrollable void I cradle in my hand. “I can feel my strength weakening.”
“Yeah, just hold on a little longer,” he says with his eyes still glazed over.
“What is this place?” he questions, but it comes out more like a statement. His head moves around as if he is focusing on his surroundings. I can’t help but stare at his face deep in concentration, his eyes still dark like the night. I hope Kyro is doing okay in there.
“What do you see?” I ask, longing for an answer.
“I see… nothing… Just darkness. If River’s in here, then he may be lost forever.”
His voice is steady and calm, which unnerves me. An uncontrollable wave of guilt rushes over me, and I fight the desire to fall to my knees and weep.
“No, he’s in there somewhere… You have to find him. Keep looking!” I beg Ryder. I concentrate harder on the orb pulsing in my palm. Its darkness is still present and thumping like a heartbeat.
“Wait… I see something.”
I hold my breath, hanging on his revelation.
I can’t hide the desperation in my voice. “What do you see?”
“A pen?” He furrows his brows in confusion. “…And a hair tie. They are just floating. I think this place has zero gravity like-”
“Like space.” I connect the dots, just like on the night of my visit. My hair band and pen went missing this morning, and now I know what happened to them. I knew I wasn’t losing my mind.
“There’s something else…” My body tenses at the hope he might see River. “A light in the distance. I am going towards it.” Ryder’s eyes are still glazed in black, but I can’t help thinking how attractive he looks, even with eyes as dark as night. His frown lines on his forehead are prominent when he focuses like this. I can’t believe he is helping me.
My hand becomes heavier, as if I am holding a dead weight. I must concentrate hard to keep control, but this power is too strong.
“Ryder… I don’t think I can hold it much longer.” My voice strains as the pressure builds. I feel my veins vibrating. “I feel like I’m going to explode.” The void is thumping heavier and heavier.
“Just take a minute, Asha… breathe,” Ryder’s calm and steady voice reaches through to me, and I try to concentrate on my breathing.
“I don’t think I can do this.” The pressure is building up higher in my palm, and I grip my wrist with my other hand to steady its shaking. The muscles in my arm contract, causing it to ache. I let out a groan.
“Listen to me, Asha. This power doesn’t control you… You control it.”
Ryder’s eyes are still a deep shade of black, and I know he is not looking at me, but I feel so connected to him. “You need to believe it, Asha. Believe in your abilities. You were chosen for a reason. You’re stronger than you think.” His voice is compelling, a beacon of light in the darkness. His face is etched with a sense of righteousness; he really believes this. I submit to the sizzling in my veins and let his words sink in.
“I am stronger than I think!” I repeat back to myself. “I am stronger than I think!” I believe it. I take a deep breath again, squeezing my eyes shut. I focus on the tingles again, the jolts like electric currents under my skin. I imagine it like a pot full of bubbling liquid on the stove. The flames are on a high heat, cradling the pot’s metal. The lid is pressed on tight, making the pot visibly shake as it craves its pressure to be released. I mentally reach out to the pot and lift the lid. The steam screams in relief as it shoots out of the gap, finally reunited with the cool air around it. I let out a deep exhale and feel the pressure in my hand dissipate, just like the pot. The black orb is still present, but the aching and shaking are gone. I am no longer tense. I am in control.
