Page 37 of Shielding His Heart
Our names are called, and we’re seated at a secluded booth near the aquarium. After the waitress takes our drink order, she watches the fish for a while. It hits me then—she’s nervous.
“Have you thought about what you want to do about the site?” I’ll admit I’ve been curious. It had been such a huge passion of hers before the accident.
She lifts a shoulder. “I don’t know what I plan to do, but I really just don’t have the desire to put my nose to the grindstone in a way that I know something like that would require. The thought of dealing with social media and customer service really exhausts me. I’m not even certain I have the mental capacity for it now. Would it upset you if I didn’t?”
I take her hand on the table. I can’t quite seem to stop touching her now. My heart gives a hopeful squeeze when she turns hers over to link her fingers with mine. “I’ll support you no matter what you do. I mean that. I always have.”
Her eyes meet mine, and she doesn’t look away. “I’m starting to believe you.”
Warmth spears through me. Tana must recognize it in my gaze because her lips part and her chest flushes with heat. Then the waitress stops by with an old-fashioned for me and a mojito for Tana. We both drink deeply, although the bourbon does nothing to cool the surge of lust.
* * *
“Thank you for dinner. It was wonderful.”
I pull to a stop in the driveway and turn to her. Goddamn, but she’s beautiful. “You’re welcome.”
A breath shudders past her lips. “What now?”
“What do you mean?”
“Where do we go from here?”
I take her hand in mine and bring it to my lips. “We go wherever you want to go.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” she says.
“You let me worry about that. I’m a big boy; I can take care of my feelings. I’ve told you before that nothing has changed. I’m here for you, no matter what.”
“Because you’re committed to your wife.”
“Yes, that was why at first.”
Her eyes snap to mine. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, a part of me will always love who you used to be. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for who you are now. I’ve got plenty of love for you to go around.”
Tears shine in Tana’s eyes. “But I feel like a completely different person. I don’t want to wear the kind of clothes she wore. I don’t want to be a social media influencer or even care about fashion. I like yoga pants and T-shirts and working in the garden and helping Penny at the rescue. I’d rather dig in the dirt in the garden than get my nails done.”
“Yeah, what’s your point?”
“My point is, how can you lovemeif I’m nothing likeher?”
“Because you are the one who took care of my babies when they were sick even though I know you would have rather been anywhere else. You’re the one who rescued a disabled stray cat instead of looking the other way. You’re the one who moans my name like I’ve given you the best orgasm of your life. You don’t have to be the woman you used to be for me to love you. I love you foryou.”
I didn’t mean to say the words so soon, didn’t mean to play that card before she was ready, but there’s no taking them back. They’re true. At some point, my love for who she was and who she is now blurred. Now I can’t imagine living without this woman—in all her versions. Always.
“Alec,” she says through her tears.
I kiss the salt from her cheeks. “You don’t have to say it back now. Not until you’re ready. I’ve got all the time in the world to hear those words from you. All I ask is that when you say it, you don’t ever stop.”
She clears her throat and then nods. “Okay.”
“Okay. You gonna kiss me now, or do I have to beg?”
Laughing, she leans over the center console and kisses me. When she doesn’t pull away immediately, I deepen the kiss, parting her lips with my tongue and sinking my hands into her hair. I can’t get enough of tasting her. . . everywhere. When we part, she’s panting, her eyes are dilated, and her fingers grip my shirt collar.
“Can we go inside?” she asks.
