Page 17 of Shielding His Heart
“We spend a lot of time here,” Alec says and tucks his hands into his pockets. “Fishing a lot of the time. Both of the girls learned how to swim here. We go tubing in the summer. My parent’s place is just down a ways.”
“It’s beautiful here. Peaceful. I can see why you like it.”
“It’s also where we had our first kiss,” he says, and my eyes fly to his.
I want to express the shock that crashes over my system, but I can’t find the words to speak, so a strangled sound comes out instead.
“I’ve debated how I’d handle this for a long time, and I didn’t know for certain until now, seeing you here. This morning I thought it would be best to give you space to find your bearings, to heal and get acclimated.” He moves closer, and my body freezes. “Now, seeing you here, remembering the first time you let me have your mouth, I realize that would be fucking stupid. I’ve loved you most of my life. I imagined spending the rest of ours together so often I can’t picture a future without you. Like hell am I going to give you space to find a future without me in it.”
“Alec—” My heart leaps into my throat.
He turns to me, his hand coming out of his pocket to thread through my hair. I can’t move a muscle. I know the smart thing to do is to move away. To put back up the boundaries I’ve tried so hard to erect since I woke up in the hospital, but a voice inside my head tells me to wait. Just wait. See if thereissomething still inside me that cares for him as much as he obviously cared about before-me.
Which is why, when he uses that hand cupping my head to bring me forward, I don’t resist. My hands fly to his chest, but only to ground myself against his solidity. Just one kiss. What could it hurt?
Oh.
His soft lips brush mine, and I instantly realize my mistake. Then my thoughts go quiet, and the sound of the river rushing by is all that fills my head. There is only the soft caress of his fingertips against my skin, the tender press of his mouth. A sigh shudders out of me, and I find my knees buckling. He takes my weight in stride, his arms around me to hold us both up.
I make a sound of need against his lips, and my eyes pop open. Pulling away, I try to remember all the reasons this was a bad idea. But all I can think about is wanting to do it again.
CHAPTER9
ALEC
Idon’t know what I expected, kissing her. For her to magically recover her memory? Like I’m Prince Charming healing her with true love’s kiss.
Of course, that doesn’t happen.
I’m holding onto her because I’m almost certain if I let go, she’ll lose her balance. But she’s pulling away to look at me like she doesn’t know me.
And she doesn’t.
Another man would apologize for kissing her, and maybe I should. I just can’t find it in myself to do it.
“I’ll take you back home,” I say instead.
She takes a moment to gather herself and takes a step back. “Alright,” is all she says, her expression unreadable.
The ride back to the house is quiet, and I can’t tell if she’s pissed off or not. Before the accident, Tana wouldn’t have hesitated to let me know when I fucked up. She would have smacked me on the arm, cursed like a sailor, then made me grovel until she felt I had atoned appropriately.
Now, though, I don’t know how the fuck to handle this Tana. It’s screwing with my head. She looks, smells, tastes, and feels like my wife. But is she really if she doesn’t remember me or our life together?
I’d hoped kissing her would erase my doubts and fears, but ironically, all it did was make me even more confused.
“Alec,” Tana says, and I glance over at her.
“Yeah?”
“Tell me about our first kiss. Was it like that?”
Pain sears through my chest. “Do you really want to know all that?”
“Yes.”
I don’t second guess her. Maybe part of me wants to talk about it. The grief I haven’t had an outlet for spills from my lips.
“Well, we were in our early twenties. We’d spent all day on the water, dicking around with our friends. Goofin’ off, tubin’, drinkin’. We hung around the same group of people but had never gotten together. You were buzzed real good and couldn’t stop laughing. I couldn’t stop staring at you. The way your face lit up when you laughed. It made my chest hurt.”
