Page 58 of Operator
“Are you okay? The baby? Where’s Violet?” I hold her close to me, afraid if I let her go for a moment, she’ll slip away.
She’s a little shaky, but her voice is calm. “I’m fine. I think I scared him away. Oh my God, was that him?”
“Shh,” I crush her to my chest. “Shh, it’s okay. You’re okay.”
She tears away from me. “I have to check on the baby.”
I follow closely behind her as she picks up her dropped towel and wraps it around her body.
* * *
It’s another hour before our statements are taken and the baby is settled back down in her crib. I can’t seem to let Gwen out of my arms. I kiss her head again as we sit on the couch in the living room. She pushes at me and frowns, but I don’t let her get too far. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”
“Where were you?” she asks. “I woke up and you were gone.” When I don’t answer immediately, she narrows her eyes. “You were with Ford, weren’t you? What did you guys do? Did you even find anything?”
“I know. It was thoughtless of me.” My honesty seems to take the wind out of her sails, and she doesn’t pull away when I take her hands in mine. That’s progress, at least. “I got caught up with Ford being here and finding out about what happened to Ian. I should have told you where I was going, so you’d be prepared. It won’t happen again.”
“I mean it that if something happens to you, I won’t be able to stand it, Cal. You can’t go running off like that without talking to me about it.” Her lavender eyes are bright and fierce as she looks up at me.
I kiss her fingers. “I don’t disagree. I was just so ready to have some fucking answers. I hate not knowing what’s going on. I hate not being able to keep the two of you safe. But what I hate even more was that it was me who put you in danger. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if something happened to you.”
She rests her head on my chest and a breath shudders out of her. “You really scared me. You’re not allowed to leave this house again. Stop trying to play vigilante before you get yourself hurt.”
“I thought you wanted to go with me?”
Gwen glares up at me. “I’m not finished.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I say, trying to hide a smile. I really should go to hell for loving it so much when she gets all riled up. The robe she threw on to meet the cops is thin and doesn’t leave much to the imagination. I’m having a hard time paying attention to her tirade when all I want to do is strip it off her and show her how grateful I am that she’s okay.
“You’re not allowed to get hurt,” she says more seriously. “I’d don’t care if we never figure out what happened. I don’t care if they get away with it. I mean it, Cal. It’s not worth it to risk you.”
“Nothing is going to happen to me.” There’s something about this conversation that makes me shift on the couch, itching to get up and move.
She cups my cheek and forces my gaze back to hers. “Promise me you won’t do that again. You aren’t bulletproof, no matter how much you think otherwise.” The pain shines in her eyes, the fear. Fear for me. Then it strikes me what losing me could do to her. She’s already lost one man. Would it break her completely if something happened to me, too?
“Gwen.” I look away, feeling like déjà vu again. This is exactly why I pushed her away in the first place. I never wanted to be the reason why she broke.
When I try to move, she doesn’t let me. She climbs astride my lap so I can’t go anywhere. Which, goddammit, makes me smile. Her expression, however, is serious. “You couldn’t promise me things before, but dammit. You’ll make promises now. Promise me you won’t try to find him. Please.”
“Babe, c’mon—”
She brackets my face with her hands. “Promise me.” Her voice breaks with the intensity of her words. “So help me, Callum, you said you’d do whatever I needed.Thisis what I need. I need you to promise me you’ll do everything in your power to stay safe. I need you to promise you’ll always be here for me. I need you to promise not to leave.”
I can see in her eyes this is more sacred to her than any sort of vow. My throat goes dry. This is the moment where I either sack up and be the man I told her I’d be or prove her fears right. Like hell I’ll ever let her down again.Like hell. “I promise.” I say it with all the solemnity of a marriage vow, and for me, it may as well be.
I knew from the day I met her that she was the one for me. It may as well have been written in the stars. It’s long past time for me to stop fighting against her and start fighting for her.
“It’s about damn time,” she practically growls. Then she tugs me closer and kisses me.
“Bedroom,” I whisper against her lips. If those were my vows, I’d make damn certain this was the perfect wedding night.
“Yes,” she breathes and hobbles to unsteady feet. We stumble down the hall until we reach her room. “Much better than your truck.”
“You deserved so much better,” I say as I tumble her down onto the sheets. “Like a proper bed, for example.”
She stares up at me with adoration in her eyes and I fit myself between her legs like it’s where I belong. “Cal, I didn’t care where we were. All I wanted was for it to be you.”
I nuzzle her neck, breathing in the scent of gardenias andher.“I really screwed it up, didn’t I?”
