Page 69 of Deceit
Gone.
Forever.
I continued to rub her back, guilt and despair coiling around my heart like asnake, and squeezing until I couldn’t breathe.“I’m sorry, Sofe,”I whispered, my voice cracking.“I’m so goddamn sorry.”
Chapter 22
Miles
Ihad no idea how much time passed. No concept of what was going onoutside the bunker. All I could do was watch Sofia sleep, too afraid to move in case she woke and attempted to take her life again.
My back ached from where I’d been hunched over in the chair beside thebed, staring at her from the minute I carried her out of the bathroom and laid her down.
After puking up the pills, Sofia’s entire body sagged against me, depleted of energy, as theshower turned from warm to tepid. She was like a ragdoll as I stripped her out of her dress, cleaned up the mess between her thighs, and re-dressed her in a pair of shorts and a T-shirt I’d stashed away when we fitted out the bunker.
Her eyes stayed open, but had glazed over as if she wasn’t seeing asingle thing, andthatvacant look was like a knife to my heart. Her sparkling blue orbs didn’t sparkle, and fuck, I would have given my soul to the deviljustto see them shine again.
She closed her eyes once she was tucked under the covers, and it wasn’t longuntil her breathing deepened as sleep claimed her. And all I could do was watch her.
Watch, and realize what a stupid fucking idiot I’d been.
For once, my head was silent. No noise. No images of Theo. Sofia consumedme, and I allowed it. Allowed myself to acknowledge how I felt about her, and how soul-destroying it would have been if I hadn’t gotten to her in time.
It was a sharp fucking wake up call.
I’d blamed her for so much: the way Theo felt about her; the wayIfelt abouther. The lies she told, and the lies I was forced into telling Theo.
But that was unfair.
She never knew the impact her appearance at Exotique would have had fouryears ago. She never knew the chain of events she would set off. I blamed her, when the truth was, it was easier to blame her than admit how gutted I wasthatshe’d given her attention to Theo, and not me.
Maybe if I’d stopped blaming her before now, she wouldn’t have foundherself in a situation where death was her only way out.
Sofia’s petite body shifted, and my heart damn near leaped into my throatwhen her eyelids fluttered open. Relief swamped me; while her eyes weren’t shining, they were no longer vacant.
“Hi,” she rasped.
“Hi.”A few tense beats passed between us before I added,“How are youfeeling?”
Slowly, she pulled herself up to a sitting position, her back resting againstthe headboard.“Other than mortified? My throat hurts a little.”
Reluctant to leave her, I darted to the kitchenette and grabbed abottle of water, hurrying back to give it to her. She took it with a grateful smile.
When she finished guzzling the entire bottle, she replaced the cap and met my gazeagain.“I’m sorry,”she whispered, her voice cracking.
I shook my head.“It’s me who should be apologizing, Jailbait. If I hadn’ttreated you the way I had-”
“It wasn’tthat,”she interrupted, her eyes falling to where her hands rested inher lap.“Well, maybe a little. But…”she trailed off as she lifted her head again, her eyes filled with unshed tears.“Everything got too much. The way things are between us. Papa demandingthatI get pregnant-”
“What?”
Her cheeks heated as she grimaced.“The night before the wedding, Papatold methatI had to get pregnant to strengthen our family ties. He threatened to hurt Rafe if I didn’t.”
Betrayal warred with defeat, and I couldn't stop the sad smile from tugging my lips to one side.“So that’s why you wanted me to fuck you.”
“No.”Her head whipped up, panic flaring in her eyes.“No,thatwasn’t thereason. I… thought you were in the club fucking other women, and I… I was jealous. I hated the thought of you with someone else. It didn’t register until I was in the bathroom earlierthatus fucking without a condom could result in me getting pregnant. That’s what pushed me over the edge.”
Anger extinguished any other emotion brewing under my skin, only it wasn’taimed at Sofia, but Georgio fucking Bianchi. What I would have given to have a few hours with the cunt strapped to the chair in the den; I had a few torture devices I could have tested out on him.
