Page 10 of Deceit
Miracles happened every day, right?
Bile crept up my throat thelongerIstaredat thedress. Ineededto get out ofmy house. Ineededtoescapethis life of misery for one last time before my nightmare truly began. And there was only one place I could go to get myemotionsout.
Changing into a sparkly black cocktaildress, I messaged mypersonal guard,Gus, to tell him where I wanted to go,followedby a text toPaul, the manager ofBarForty-Four, asking him to reserve a slot for me.
I’d been going to thebarsince I’d returned permanently from Italy shortlyafter my eighteenth birthday. It was the only time I’d tried to tellPapathat I wanted more out of my life. I wanted tosing. I wanted to writemusicandplaythe piano.
Of course,Papa’sresponse was to tell me not to be so stupid, and that the only responsibility I would have was to be an obedient wife and a good mom.
I’d been inconsolable, butRafehad figured out a way to help. He’d set up adealwith the manager of thebarand had somehow convincedGusto take me whenever I wanted to go, even getting him to agree to keeping my visits to thebara secret between the three of us.
If I didn’t have thebartoescapeto, Iwasn’tsure if I could have coped withthe amount of feelings that consumed me every wakingminuteof the day.Singingwas the only thing I had as an outlet for myemotions.
Sure, I could talk toRafe, but he had enough on his plate, and my only otherfriend, Kat, had long since abandoned me afterPapaforbade me to see her when he discovered she was the one who took me toExotique,despitemy protests.
I had no one to talk to, butsinging, itallowedme to get out everyemotionIcarried around inside me.
A short while later, Istaredout of the passenger window ofGus’ caras he drove me to the remotebar. It was later than I tended to go to thebar, butseeingasPapaandRafewere in New York on business, it waseasiertosneakout of the house with no questions asked.
Gusknew something was on my mind. We’dusually spendpart of thejourneymaking light conversation, but this time, he let me brood. He’dbeen assigned to me afterPapakilledRay, my former guard. InPapa’seyes, Ray hadn’t done his job properly when I was able to fly home andsneakinto a sexclub.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake Miles and our impending nuptials from my head. Before long, the memory of the first time we spoke after the deal had been made reared to life. It was then that I learned just how much he hated me.
I make my way through the house, my mind racing with everything I’velearnedin the last twelve hours.Nerves zap through me as Iheadto the South Garden whereMilesis waitingfor me. Perhaps it’s a good thing he’s here. At least we can talk, and I can see how he really feels about themarriage.
After all, he’s the one who put the idea forward. Surely, if he hates me thatmuch, he wouldn’t have suggested marrying me? Maybe he’d been acting to not give away the fact that we’dmetbefore.
The warm sun hits my face, but mystomachlurches when IspotOwen in thedistance. He’s one of the guards at the house, and I’ve kinda beenseeinghim in secret for a few weeks, but I know I need to end things with him.
One problem at a time.
I findMileswaiting for me by our hugepond, skimming stones acrossthe surface of the water. Doing my best not to admire how muscular he looks from behind, or how tight his pants are around his ass, I make my way to him. He doesn’t turn to look at me as I step up beside him.
“Hey,”I say tentatively. His reply is to skim another stone across thepond. “I justmetKai. I’m glad he's okay; that must have been a relieffor you.”I stare at his profile, his jaw clenching, but still he remainssilent.
Pulling mygazeaway, I fallsilentfor anotherminuteas he carries onskimming more stones across thepond. Making the mistake of inhaling adeep, calming breath, his scent hits me; amix of wood and leather, making mystomachclench and my eyes close.
When I open them again a few seconds later, I feel his eyes on me. I turn tohim, but he looks away, his face void of anyemotion. Anxiety crawls through me. I need to find common ground. Something to get him talking.
“I was really sorry to hear aboutTheo-”
His head whips back to me, anger blazing in his eyes, silencing meas his lips curl into a snarl.“Let’s get one thing straight,”he growls venomously, and the blood in my veins turns to ice at his sudden fury.“The onlyreasonI’m going ahead with thismarriageis because we need your dad’s resources. Don’t think for one second that because we’re stuck with each other, I want anything to do with you.”He pauses before taking a step forward, closing the gap between us.“And as for mycousin, you don’t ever say his name to me. You willnevertalk to me about him, do you hear me, Jailbait?”
Jailbait. That’s what he’d called me from thatminuteonward. Ihatedit,hatedthe reminder that when we’d firstmet, I’d been nothing but an underage liar.
The next timeMilesand I were forced tospendany time together, I’d askedhim to stop calling me it. His response was to smirk, telling me that I’d earned the nickname for luringTheointo my web of deceit.
In petty revenge, I’d taken to calling himMilo, knowing it pissed himoff.
Lost in thought, the journey to Bar Forty-Four was over before I knew it. Ordinarily, I’d spend some of the journey warming up my vocal cords or at least debating about what song I was going to sing. Thoughts of Miles had put rest to that.
Gusescorted me through the back door of thebar, wherePaulgreeted me, andasked whatsongI wanted the musicians toplay.Without conscious thought, I gave him the name of the title of thesongthat had beenplayingin my mind all evening. As soon as I said it, I knew it was the perfect choice to sum up how I was feeling.
When the act who was on the stage finished his song, Paul left me to instruct the band which song I’d picked, while Gus wished me luck and made his way to the side of the stage where he always sat, waiting for me to finish my set.
Sometimes I’dsingonly onesong, other nights I’dsingthree or four. If Iwere feeling up to it, I would sometimesplaya few notes on the keyboard, but itwasn’tthe same as sitting in front of a grand piano; the acoustics just weren’t quite right.
It all depended on how long it would take to purge myself.Tonight, though, Icouldsinguntil the sun came up, and I doubted it would make me feel better.
