Page 183 of Knot Baked Out For This
"You hate spiders."
"But it's fuzzy!"
"It has eight legs."
"Fuzzy legs!"
"We're not having this argument."
But he buys me the spider anyway from the booth next door, and it's the size of a small child, and I immediately name it Fred.
"Fred?" Luca questions.
"He looks like a Fred."
"Spiders can't look like anything. They're spiders."
"Fred disagrees."
Fred comes with us on the hayride because apparently, I'm five years old and need a stuffed animal for protection.
The hayride itself is a wagon pulled by horses that look like they'd rather be anywhere else, decorated with fake cobwebs that are definitely going to be real cobwebs by tomorrow. We climb aboard with about fifteen other people, all couples, because apparently, terror is romantic now.
"Scared?" Rowan asks, pulling me against his side.
"Of a hayride? Please. I survived Levi's cooking."
"Hey! My cooking's not that?—"
The wagon lurches forward, cutting off his protest, and we're plunged into darkness as we enter the "haunted" part of the trail.
The first jump scare is a zombie that pops out from behind a tree, and I definitely don't scream. The sound that emerges from my throat is more of a... strategic vocalization.
"Strategic vocalization?" Levi laughs. "You screamed like a banshee!"
"I was startled!"
"You tried to climb Rowan like a tree!"
"Instinct!"
The second scare is a chainsaw-wielding maniac,with the chain removed for legal reasons, and this time I do bury my face in Rowan's chest, which smells like cedar and safety and makes me want to stay there forever.
"It's fake," he murmurs against my hair.
"I know it's fake!"
"Then why are you shaking?"
"Adrenaline! Fight or flight!"
"You chose hide."
"Hiding is a valid response!"
Luca, meanwhile, is death-glaring at every actor who jumps out like they've personally offended his ancestors. When a werewolf—someone in a questionable fur suit—howls at us, Luca actually growls back, and the actor breaks character to mutter "Jesus, dude."
"Did you just alpha-posture at a teenager in a costume?" I whisper.
