Page 2 of Dahlias, Sapphires, and Cool Autumn Dusk
They had so much on their plates—school, the bombshell Kit had dropped on them about their mother’s family, and the possibility it all linked to Phoenix’s kidnapping. Come to think of it, Phoenix wasn’t anywhere near sober for over a week.He alternated between ADHD meds—prescribed, though his brothers thought inappropriately—and living in a K-hole.
I couldn’t fathom how he got through school. Then again, I would soon see firsthand.
Regardless, I didn’t want to add another problem to their pile. “I can do it. Don’t worry about it. I’m actually going now.”
He squeezed my hand again, and I smelled the faintest scent of chlorine. They always carried a bit of the scent lately. His blond hair hung dry around his handsome face, but he likely hadn’t showered yet. Like everything else about the four Lent Brothers, I already loved the smell. So. . .them.
I hated letting go of his hand. The summer meant we were alone in New York City, but as school approached, the rich and powerful returned in droves from their summer homes. The Hamptons. Martha’s Vineyard. Nantucket. Europe. Asia. The brothers recognized someone everywhere, which meant we had to be more careful.
We remained completely non-compliant about the rules in the Hamptons, but their father Stephen had read them the riot act over Zoom about it the week before. If we were going to make our relationship work, we had to adopt the same carefulness as the rest of the family. Sure, people asked questions. . .Why does Kit, technically Rosalind’s husband, live with his wife and three brothers all together?Generally, people thought they were just too close—making them an odd but acceptable level of weirdness.
Phoenix said people thought Stephen was gay and hid it, Eric kept a woman in the Village who he couldn’t marry, and Daniel still pined for a long lost love. I didn’t know where people came up with those stories, and neither did they. Regardless, no rumors claimed they all loved Rosalind, meaning they kept the world fooled.
We would have to manage something similar, if things worked, and if we stayed together.If they don’t get tired of me. If I don’t get sent away.
He smiled, undeterred. “I’ll come with you. You can’t carry all of it yourself.”
He wasn’t wrong, but I planned for that. “I’m getting a car.”
I hated using my aunt’s credit card, but some things were necessary. To attend school, I needed my clothes, so a car apparently fell on that list. I used my subway pass from Barrett sparingly, but I still wasn’t one hundred percent certain I knew my way around well enough. And it was going to be too much for me to carry right now.
They preferred it if I didn’t travel alone at night, but it would happen out of necessity eventually.
“Smart, but I’m still tagging along for moral support. She might not be home, so you can grab your clothes and get out without her even noticing.”
In my wildest dreams. “What if she is?”
“Then we deal.” He shook his head. “Where did Barrett and Phoenix go, anyway? I didn’t recognize their locations when I looked for you.”
“Barrett is getting a haircut,” I said and smiled. “While Phoenix is…doing what Phoenix does once a week.”
He knew I meant buying drugs, though we never spoke about it outright. He only returned to his brothers after they agreed to let him live with his choices, leaving it the constant elephant in the room. No one got to discuss it except Phoenix. He knew we worried and wanted him healthy, but until he wanted that too. . .
Until then, I just love him.Judging him would fix nothing. Loving him might help him someday fix himself.
“Right.” Jeremy nodded. “Well, let’s get this done. We can drop in on Granny, too. Jules checked on her yesterday, but it’llbe good to see her. If everyone is back, we’ll go out to eat. A final hurrah before tomorrow.”
I loved the idea. “Thanks for giving me something to look forward to today. All I’ve been thinking about is the apartment, Tricia, my family, and then Pullman.”
He winced. “All bad stuff. No wonder that look is back on your face.”
I shook my head. “What look?”
“Theworld might blow uplook. You lost it after we got back from the Hamptons, once we chased you back to the city. You stopped looking like the end was near, and instead you’ve been beautifully happy.” He pointed to my eyes. “Now your brown eyes are hurting again. I hate it. I want to fix it. Let me.” He lowered his voice. “I love you.”
He was so good about saying it. Out of all four of them, he was the only one who did. I wanted to say it back, to proclaim it to all of them. I loved them.
But if I said it, andtheneverything blew up? It might kill me.
He smiled. “I know you love me, but you’re still scared. The day you say it, I’ll know you feel safe.”
We ordered a car, and no sooner were we inside and moving than Jeremy leaned over and kissed me. Hard. A claiming, so I held on, letting him. I kissed and kissed him until we arrived at my aunt’s building. I should try to think about it as their granny’s building, as Dina’s building since she lived there too. It would be less negative of a connotation.
We both panted, my body buzzed, his eyes glazed, and he laughed, throwing his head back. “Shit. Okay.”
We’d only kissed and snuggled so far, none of us going further despite the temptation. I feared sharing so much with them and, like love, trying to survive once it inevitably ended.
I hoped they were right. I hoped time would solve everything.
