Page 29 of Dahlias, Sapphires, and Cool Autumn Dusk
I already forgave him, if I was honest, as I squeezed his fingertips. I just wasn’t sure what to do about it after such a long night.
The announcements rattled through the speakers, wishing another person a happy birthday, followed by the pledge and some school news. The minutes passed, then Ms. Collins stood and moved to the center of the class.
“Today, we are going to speak about intentions and setting goals. All of you can be successful…if only you would try a little harder.”
I listened to her ramble on happily enough, since I didn’t have to read aloud.
By the end of class, I was happy that Phoenix managed not to snore. His eyes drooped until they closed and he was out cold at his desk. Fortunately, he remained quiet, and Collins only seemed to notice when someone made noise or was disruptive while she explained how we were all failures.
The bell’s chime couldn’t come fast enough for me. I put my hand on his arm to wake him the second it was over.
“Phoenix, time to get up.”
He lifted his head, blinking blearily at me. “Shit. Did I fall asleep?”
I smiled at him. “Yep. Maybe you need a bedtime.”
After giving him a parting smile, I popped the earbud back in, hoping to make it through the rest of the day unscathed.
By lunchtime, I found my normal school rhythm, keeping my head down and my personality unobtrusive. Unlike other years, though, everyone seemed to want to stop and talk to me.
Because of the Lents.I might not understand the fascination, but I was sure it would pass.
I stepped into the courtyard and got yanked into an alcove where they stored extra chairs. Phoenix tugged me into a hug.
His body shook against mine—probably from exhaustion and whatever he took that day. He muttered into my hair, “I am so fucking sorry. Please.”
I closed my eyes, inhaling him into my lungs and enjoying his warmth wrapped around me. “I forgive you, okay? I just feel a little bit wounded. I’m still learning how to do this, and I won’t bother you again about coming home or anything.”
“Yeah, well, I’m going to come home. Every night.” He whispered the promise in my ear, then kissed my neck. “I do have a bedtime—whenever you want to go to sleep. I don’t know why I sometimes fuck things up for myself, I just do it.”
I would be happy to stand there all day and let him hold me. “You matter, okay? A lot.”
He kissed my neck on a space where my skin was exposed. “Forgive me?”
“I have.”
Phoenix nodded and pulled back. “Sorry, I just needed to hold you for a second.”
We joined the table already rapidly filling up with all the same people from the day before. The female water polo team joined us at the next table, and Bethany seemed to have brought two new people, too. They looked me up and down but then actually smiled.
Two empty seats remained near Jeremy, one across from him and one next to him. I took the one to his left while Phoenix slumped himself into the one across. He then dropped his head onto his arms, muttering something about needing a nap.
Julian slid into a seat at the table, but not before whacking Phoenix on the head. “Get some sleep at home then you can make it through the day.”
Their youngest brother lifted his head but didn’t otherwise respond. Laughing people surrounded us, and Jer put his arm around me. “How is today going?”
I sighed, feeling part of a group, a strangely satisfying sensation. “Fine. Nothing today of note, not even Collins.”
He nodded once. “Glad to hear it. We have practice after school.”
I knew because I memorized their schedules like it was my job. I hated the idea of not knowing where all four of them were, proving that maybe I was more than a little bit needy.
With that thought, I pulled out my phone and texted Barrett.How’s today?
Groan, he texted back and I smiled.He sums things up so well.
“Hey, Al.” Sarah walked over to me. “Good job yesterday. How’s your soreness?”
