Page 14 of Dahlias, Sapphires, and Cool Autumn Dusk
She clenched her teeth. “Read it.”
“Right.” I opened the book. My pride shriveled up and died, since Phoenix was about to have a front row seat to how dumb I could really be. Other dyslexics read aloud with no problems, so why couldn’t I?
I took a deep breath. The words moved on the page, scattering as if trying to escape my gaze like they always did. I tried to concentrate, to make them stop. With everyone’s eyes on me, it was impossible.
“You’ve made your point.” Phoenix’s words barely reached me, the ringing in my ears so loud and the beating of my heart a thrum.
I have to do this. I’m never getting out of it.I began, saying, “It was a queer, sultry summer, the summer they electrocuted the Rosenbergs, and I didn’t know what I was doing in New York. I’m stupid about executions.”
I wished I just read it, that I could simply say the words, but I stumbled through all of them, tripping as if I’d never spoken before . Finally, she stopped me, grabbing the book from my shaking hand. “You don’t belong here,” she repeated and we both knew she was right.
I sank into my chair not looking at anyone. Not at Phoenix, or at anyone at all. He proved he was smart, that she was wrong about him. In my case, she proved I wasn’t on his level and never would be.A third grader could have read better than me.
“Alatheia,” Phoenix pounded a fist on his desk, imploring me to meet his gaze. Ms. Collins moved on to someone else, but he interrupted her. “What do those lines mean? Why do you think Plath wrote them like that?”
I swallowed. Why would he make it worse? Why would he bring everyone’s focus back to me when it finally began to move away?
“Um…” I wanted to throw up, but I automatically answered, trying to shift the attention away from myself. “I think that by bringing up the Rosenbergs that fast, by immediately talking about them, she’s letting us know that there is death. It’s cold. Public. It certainly sets up the book to the reader as not being lightweight. She lets us know,hey there is going to be some real stuff here and we have to deal with it.It’s all almost claustrophobic, right? The heat. And she is stupid about executions. I mean, who is smart about them?”
He smiled at me, his eyes so kind, I wished I could float away in them. “You are. You are probably smart about executions. You could probably tell this whole class everything you know about them.” He held up his hand to stop me. “Don’t, but I wanted to remind you there’s more than reading aloud.”
Ms. Collins glared like she wished we would just spontaneously combust and die.
When the bell finally rang, it felt like a life raft.Are we really going to have to do this every day?
I rose and Tiffany grabbed my arm. She had eventually identified things on the periodic table for Ms. Collins, which didn’t seem to bother her at all. I wished I had her confidence.
“Meet me at lunch. Let’s look at each other’s sketches.”
Phoenix shook his head. “She’ll be with me. Come find us in the courtyard.”
Her grin seemed amused. “Okay. Sure. I’ll bring Hal.” She scooted away, calling over her shoulder. “He’s my boyfriend. Phoenix loves him.”
Next to me, the youngest Lent brother groaned. “He is a douchebag.”
Bethany stopped to stare at me. “You sounded pretty stupid when you were reading, but then it was like…you’re smart? I can’t make you out.”
I left it, since there wasn’t anything I could say that would change her feelings about me. She failed biology because when would she ever need it? She said as much, without any shame or hesitation. With a final fluff of her hair, she left the room.
Marco shrugged. “I don’t want to read aloud, and I don’t want to read to myself. Screw it. Why bother when there are so many other, better things to do? See you, Lent. See you, Alatheia.”
Phoenix and I walked next to each other toward our next class. We couldn’t touch, but it was just nice to be with him.
“Red,” he said as we exited the classroom.
“Yes?”
He put his hands over his heart. “No one has ever, and I mean ever, said anything like that about me before. What’s more is you believed it. You meant it. That is. . .everything. Why wouldn’t you look at me? After that bitch did the reading stunt.”
I shook my head. “If I talk about it now, I’m probably going to cry. I don’t want to be the girl who cries on her first day of school in the hallway.” Already, everyone thought I tried to seduce my uncle, and after that class, they thought I couldn’t read. I didn’t want to add crybaby to the list.
He nodded. “Fair enough. Show me your schedule.” I pulled it out and he took a photo of it. “English, okay, but I have a different one. Why did they put us in different classes?”
I stared at him, surprised. “Probably because I failed it last year. Did you?”
“No. I made a D, actually. I’ll be outside all your classes to walk you to your next one. Wait for me.” He smiled. “You do know I think you’re amazing and brilliant, right?”
Well, then you’re wrong.At the classroom, he left me with his hands over his heart again.
