Page 40 of Dahlias, Sapphires, and Cool Autumn Dusk
I took his hand again, his fingers icy in mine. “What kinds of things?”
“Women. . .aren’t always treated with the kind of respect they deserve, for starters. When we left, we thought we could leave two things behind. Firstly, the way we’re never quite good enough. Secondly, the memory of how bad things can be.”
I didn’t ask him for more details. I might’ve lived an incredibly sheltered life, but even I knew what he meant.
“It’ll never be like that with us, Dina. Never. I promise you. Not ever.”
I believe him.
He kissed me in the shadow of that other house. He is so steady, always the one to remind everyone else about how they should or shouldn’t behave.
Oh, their mother is calling me. She wants something.
My question really is. . .can we pull this off in New York? I guess we’re going to find out!
For now,
D
I putdown her journal and stared at the wall for a few moments, processing her life. He wanted her to see how the women on the other side of the lake weren’t living such genteel, pretty lives compared to hers. Rosalind used that phrase on me—she said I wasn’tin the Life.Is this what she worried about? That I would get involved with her sons without understanding the situation?
Dina didn’t even know I would like her grandsons when she gave me her journals, but she’d trusted me anyway. I leaned against the couch, wondering what my guys knew about the lake, especially on the other side. Why did their fathers think Phoenix’s kidnapping had something to do with the lake at all?
I rubbed my eyes. I didn’t have any answers, not even the location of my own birth.
The door swung open from the bedroom, so I glanced over quickly.
Barrett stared at me in the low light, his eyes still bleary. “Can’t sleep?”
I shut the diaries and set them aside. So far, none of them had asked me about the contents, nor had they peeked or even asked for a peek at her writing.
“No.” I rose, stretching. “Thank you for being you, Barrett. I’m sorry if we made you feel you weren’t perfect just the way you are. I admire how you know what to do in any situation. I love that you are always so sure of what is right and what is wrong, with no gray area.”
He shook his head. “I only know you’re right. Everything that isn’t you with us was wrong.”
10
The genuine sweetness of his confession touched me, not going to lie. I opened my arms and he walked into them, reaching behind me on the couch to lay us both down, so I pressed against him. We might not have been in bed, but I absolutely needed to be held by Barrett right then.
He yawned. “Tell me why you can’t sleep.”
I shook my head, instead distracting him with a kiss. I wanted his mouth, not words. His sweet gentleness, easy since he never pushed for anything else. I closed my eyes and let the night move over me, safe in Barrett’s arms with his mouth against mine.
“I love you,” he whispered to me in between kisses. “I love you so much.”
I loved him, too, but he didn’t give me the breath to try to say it. It was nuts that I couldn’t make myself, but part of me still thought it would jinx things. The second I said it aloud, it would all fall apart. Instead, I hugged him tighter, rocking against him.
He was mine until the universe took him from me, at least. I could hold on as long as I wanted, to remember every moment.
I must have eventually fallen asleep in his arms, because I woke up back in the bed in the morning. I snuggled between Jeremy and Phoenix with no memory of getting there, but I smiled, since I couldn’t complain in the least. Barrett loved to carry me back to bed, which made our whole interlude almost seem like a dream.
Jeremy brushed a kiss on my cheek before he rolled out of bed. I closed my eyes, and dreams swept me back into darkness.
The smell of coffee woke me again, more permanently, as Phoenix whispered in my ear, “I know I missed my coffee turn yesterday, but today I didn’t forget.”
I smiled at him. He looked so hot in the sunshine, and had zero clue, which made him somehow hotter. Feeling heat flush my cheeks, I managed to say, “Thanks.”
“Yep,” he said and kissed my temple. I felt his lips curve into a grin against my skin. “We hid in a fucking closet yesterday.”
