Page 89 of Roses, Pearls, and Hot Summer Nights
The rhythmic crashing of the waves was soothing, a constant reminder of the ocean just feet away, and his clicking wasn’t harsh either. The sky was a patchwork of gray clouds, and I wondered what happened to the white fluffy ones from earlier.Is this normal for this time of day?Julian seemed calm, his gaze not betraying any hint of concern as he stared at his computer. The air had quality to it, a subtle tension and change that I couldn’t quite explain. It felt different, but then again, everything there was new and strange, like I was an alien observing the Hamptons and trying to fit in for a while.
I turned my attention to their granny’s writing.I will think about the Dina of then and not the Dina of now.
NOVEMBER 7TH, 1966
Hello, potential readers. It helps me to think of this as havingreaders instead of it just being me writing to my future self. It just makes me feel odd when I think about it too hard.
Do I even have a future?What does it look like, because right now, I can’t picture it at all. I’m still living with the Lents, but I don’t know if it can continue like this. I’m staying in Ed’s room, but he’s moved in with Nathaniel for the time being. Truthfully—future self, don’t hate me for this—I would be okay if any of them wanted to stay with me.
That is the problem. Yes, I want these men. I want all of them, but that’s simply not done. Although they tell me it is common where they are from? How can that be? How could it even work? Why would they want to permanently share me? Wouldn’t they get enough of that, perhaps become jealous after a while?
Robert asked me if I loved them. I do, so I admitted it then I burst into tears, because I can’t imagine how I am supposed to live like this. He told me if I loved them, then it would be okay. They said they knew at least three other families in New York who lived like them, and if I pressed hard enough, I could find families all over who did it. Still, they felt it would be best to bring me home to where they grew up, to see what things are like there. Maybe then I could understand it.
It looks like I am taking a trip to Louisiana . . .
Am I a fool?
D.
I finishedthe entry and knew I had to find Dina. Julian typed away, so I rose from my seat, which grabbed his attention. He furrowed his brow. “Where are you going?”
“I need to talk to your granny for a second.” I smiled, gesturing for him to stay seated. “Keep going with whatever you’re doing. I’m going to stay in my room afterward. There is something I have to do, but I’ll see you tonight … I guess whenever you guys come to grab me.”
He nodded. “I get the place next to you tonight, remember? My turn. Later. After the party.”
It was really cute he wanted it so much. “I hope I don’t kick and elbow you in your sleep, so you never want to do it again.”
“Kick and elbow me, Alatheia. I’ll love every second.”
That actually made me laugh. As he stared at me in the ever dimming afternoon light, I decided to tell him something cheesy. “Excuse the fact that this is probably a cliché, and I’m sure you’ve been hearing this your whole life, but you have the most beautiful blue eyes. I just … wanted to tell you that.”
He tugged me against him, kissing me straight on the lips with a passion that surprised me. “Thank you, Alatheia. You have the deepest brown eyes I could ever imagine. I can get lost in them. It’s not a cliché when it comes from you. It makes me … warm. That’s the best way I can describe it. And Iwillsee you tonight.”
Kissing him made me warm. I let myself be lost in his arms for another few seconds before I left him there, despite thinking I could stay on his lap and just kiss and kiss forever. Who knew I could get so addicted to kissing?
I followed the sounds of humming inside to the back room, where I found Dina pacing around looking at a book. She jumped when I came inside and then laughed. “Oh, you caught me looking at my calendar.”It is a calendar?I only ever saw the ones that hung on walls, but she kept her dates in a book.I wondered if it was an older habit, or if it had to do with her position in life, but I didn’t ask my question. If I really wanted to know, I could google it later. Dina explained, “I’m trying to figure out if I can go to see an old friend who has moved to Italy in December. Don’t mind me. I’m being whimsical, but maybe you could come with me. Oh, wait, you have school. Well, I’ll take you to Italy another time.”
She frowned for a second.
The statement gave me the perfect lead, so I sat down near her. “May I say a few things?”
She frowned. “You never, ever need to ask permission to speak to me. Not ever. I know why you think that you do, but yes, of course. Just speak whenever you want.”
I nodded, because I knew she would understand, the one certainty from reading her journals. “First, I want to thank you for everything so far. For bringing me here, and standing up to my aunt, and just caring that …”
She interrupted with a wave of her hand. “Don’t thank people for caring about you. It implies you don’t think you deserve to be cared about. You do, Alatheia. We both had mothers who adored us when they were alive. At least, I have a feeling yours did. I just do. You know you were made to be loved. Don’t forget it in the mess that is your family.”
I nodded, as her advice seemed reasonable enough. “Dina, first off, I am so glad you got away from the man who wanted to hurt you on Halloween.”
She lifted her eyebrows and squeezed my hand. “Me too. For so many reasons. Thank you for saying that. How far are you, now?”
“You are going to go to Louisiana because Robert told you it was a good idea.”
She nodded. “So by now you know what was and is different about the Lent family.”
It was a shrewd question. “I do, but I haven’t told your grandsons I know, because they don’t know what I’m doing for you. I guessed because of that, and some other things ...” I didn’t need to tell her that I heard them all talking about me. “I need to know what your intentions for me are. Why did you do this?”
She nodded. “Fair question. I didn’t expect Julian to fall for you the way he did. I wanted him to take you to dinner because you needed a friend. Out of all of my grandsons, he’s the most overtly friendly to new people. I didn’t know he would be in town, so none of that was planned. I wanted you to stay with me to get away from your aunt because she is a small, horrible person. After they all showed up, they took to you the way I’ve seen happen quite a lot in my years—both in the way my family functions and the way others do. Are you okay with the idea? You know you don’t have to be.”
