Page 36 of Roses, Pearls, and Hot Summer Nights
I leaned forward, so we were closer. Conspiratorially, I asked him, “Are you just bored? Am I like a new toy to you or something?”
His knees touched mine, halving the distance between us and stealing my breath. “I’m never bored, but, no, we just like you. Trust me, Alatheia. I get that trusting me is hard, especially since I admitted to you how I regularly lie to protect my family. Still, you can count on this, on me. We like you, and you’ll like us. I’m sure of it.”
I shook my head, clenching my nails into my legs as if to resist the urge to touch him. “I do like you. That’s the problem. No more truths, maybe? I’m starting to … sweat over it. I can’t come up with anything else.”
He laughed, giving me a bit more breathing room but not settling the growing tension between us. “Glad it’s not just me, at least. We’ll figure out more truths as we get to know each other organically. Maybe that game wasn’t my best idea.”
“Fair enough.”
Jeremy grabbed the oars, slicing us easily through the water, so I leaned back to enjoy the day. I thought about the truths he gave me—a liar, sometimes, who liked cartoons. I smiled at the contradictions. He hated water polo, but liked art museums. He’d gotten through four truths total, and instead of satisfying my curiosity, I wanted to know him more.He is interesting, that’s for sure.
He met my gaze while I measured and balanced his truths against what he showed me so far … and his telling shoes. He said, “I’m never going to forget this.”
I swallowed, closing my eyes against the intensity of his stare. I knew all about befores and afters. When the later happened, the befores stopped making sense. For the moment, though, I could enjoy the summertime dream of being on the lake with Jeremy Lent in the sunshine while flower petals touched the water. I let my fingertips drag in the cool slide again and enjoyed the dream while it lasted.
Because I understood that was all it could ever be.
After we returnedthe boat to the shop, Jeremy laced his fingers with mine and drew me against him. “I’m going to kiss you unless you tell me to stop,” he warned me.
I swallowed, meeting his gaze evenly. “I told you Julian kissed me. You’re sure you’re okay with that? It makes no sense to me, and I know I don’t get interpersonal politics in this world yet, but surely it can’t really be justfine. You’re brothers.”
“It can. It can be as simple as we want it to be.” He stroked a finger down my nose, and my breath caught. “I’m going to kiss you, and then we’ll tell Julian, and you’ll see that it’s fine, okay? He’s just faster than me. He doesn’t like you more.”
Maybe I should object but honestly … I didn’t want to stop him. Jeremy wanted to kiss me, and I wanted him to do it.Part of my summer dream, all it has to be. In a dream, after all, I could kiss both of them as much as I wanted. In the strange world of summer bliss, friends could just kiss each other and it would all turn out just fine.
His lips met mine, and I closed my eyes as fire ignited my system. He tasted sweet and somehow like the breeze, like summer on the lake. I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him kiss me deeper, sparks of electricity shooting from everypoint of contact and racing down my spine. I moaned slightly at how good it felt, but he must have liked it, too. He ran his tongue over my bottom lip with a growl that raised the hairs on my arms and arched me against him.
Finally, he pulled back to stare into my eyes. I couldn’t ignore the sincerity in his gaze as he said, “I want to make you happy. The way you laughed earlier? I want to hear that sound every day.”
He can think clearly enough to speak?I swallowed, my thoughts still muddled by needs I couldn’t dare speak. “I …”
Jeremy tugged me to him, holding my head on his chest and surrounding me in his warmth. The position grounded me, giving me his strength to lean on, if I needed it. I could hear his heart beating, a safe sound, so I closed my eyes. “I also love how you can’t speak because your eyes are still glazed and a bit drunk from kissing me, just so you know. I find it ridiculously wonderful.”
“Hey, you two,” Barrett called, and I jerked away from Jeremy in surprise and maybe guilt before we both turned toward him. “Over here! We found a good spot. Julian’s holding it for us.”
A spot?“What’s happening?” I tried to calm my pulse, which still raced with guilt.
Jeremy squeezed me once more, ignoring my stiffness, then guided me toward Barrett, hand-in-hand. “Picnic lunch. We thought you would like it. Come on. Oh, Barrett? She’s kissed both Julian and me. Just putting it out there so everyone knows.”
“Sounds great.” Barrett took my other hand. “I would love it if you would someday, when you are so inclined, kiss me, too.”
It sounds great?“Are you people part of some weird kissing society where you just go around doing that with everyone?”
They laughed together, and I shook my head. “I don’t hear a denial.”
“No kissing society involvement.” Barrett squeezed my fingers. “It’ll make sense … eventually. And it’s not dire. It’s just something we’re going to wait to be sure about.”
He wore cargo shorts, a collared white shirt that showed off his slightly tanned skin, and a pair of sandals. I almost forgot to look at his shoes, and I chastised myself for the slip. As it was, my head was so muddled, I wasn’t sure that I could make sense of what they meant. Or what it meant if I couldn’t tell anymore.
11
The guys had already laid down a blanket, and Julian patted the ground next to him for me to sit on. A loaf of French bread peeked out of a brown bag in the center of the soft looking spread. Suddenly, a memory hit me, so I stumbled.
When I arrived in San Francisco, as just a dumb little kid, I didn’t realize there were different kinds of breads. We always had just the one kind—butter top wheat, I think.
My aunt, uncles, and their friends found my ignorance hilarious. What a simple life I’d been living, they said, and I could hear the meanness behind their laughter.Simple. I didn’t know before then that the word could be used as an insult.
I might’ve been young, but I heard the insult intended loud and clear. They meant that what I was, what I liked, was bad in their world, and I needed to remember that.
