Page 79 of Roses, Pearls, and Hot Summer Nights
I shook my head, not interested in lessons. “Thank you, but it’ll be years until I can have a car. By then, I would’ve forgotten everything you taught me. It isn’t like my family is going to let me get a driver’s license.”
Jeremy slid his arm around me as soon as we were out of the car. “If you want your driver’s license, you’ll get one. We’ll see to it.”
I didn’t argue, but I said, “You’re all so sure you can see to things. It must be nice to feel so in control of the world around you. I never really think I understand anything or have any control.”
Barrett motioned like he intended to take my hand and then stopped, his gaze seeing Jeremy holding my other hand. It took me a second to realize his caution wasn’t because of jealousy, but privacy. In public, they didn’t want someone to see me dating more than one of them. It would be afaux pasin general society, so they had to be more careful. Less so in Manhattan, I realized and then wondered why. More people? It was summer, so fewer eyes on them, but all those eyes from Manhattan went to the Hamptons for the summer.
Interesting. How much had I been missing?
“Someday you are going to feel so in control of the things that can be controlled, you won’t remember what this was like.”
I doubted it. His granny certainly remembered, but I couldn’t tell him that. I pursed my lips, realizing the number of secrets between us could fill, well, a diary. I couldn’t complain, though. What we were sharing was real, too. Wherever I got sent next, I wasn’t going to forget them. Not ever.
The sunlight felt wonderful on my skin as we headed into the first store. Barrett wanted to start with the bathing suits, so I laughed. “You do, do you?”
“I do.” He motioned at a door so I walked inside. When both guys followed me to the rack of my size, the salespersonat the counter glanced in our direction. It didn’t matter to me what people thought, but the more I understood their situation, the more I believed it mattered to them. Who knew how many people gave them a hard time about their uncles living with them, or what grace it took to maintain the exterior appearance which allowed their fathers to conduct business?
What should I say to indicate that we were being watched that wouldn’t tell them I knew? I didn’t have to figure it out, because Jeremy took two steps back. “I want to go grab something. I’ll be right back.”
Vague, but it resolved my concerns. I side-eyed Barrett. “Which ones do you like?”
“On you? I’ll like all of them. But Granny wanted me to remind you that we’ll be going to both the beach and some clubs over the remainder of the summer. That said, I kind of like … these.” He grabbed a bunch of bikinis and then some coverups. “I see the girls all in big accessories with their suits, so I’ll go find you some of those. Try these on in the meantime?”
He handed me the clothes and wandered into the store while I ducked into a dressing room. He more or less gave me instructions disguised as questions—but I noticed. Both Jeremy and Barrett did it and maybe it should bother me, but it reminded me so much of their granny that I couldn’t even drum up the interest to complain.
The eyes of the gum-snapping non-helpful employee followed me as I closed the door of the dressing room. Did she think I was going to steal? I wore expensive new clothing, so if she judged me based on that, I couldn’t begin to think how much she would’ve hated my ratty shoes.
The changing room had terrible lighting, but it was spacious. I tugged off my clothes and grabbed the first suit quickly.
As I slipped on the bright blue bikini Barrett picked, it took me a minute to not feel utterly naked. I didn’t give a lot ofthought to my body, since I usually had too much else to think about. The Lent brothers seemed to like how I looked, but all I could see was about a thousand miles of pale freckled skin. As a redhead, I had two shades—very pale or bright burned red from a terrible sunburn. The fact had been true my whole life, so I spent very little time in the outright sun, not since I was little.
I needed to focus on the present, though, so I stared at my reflection. What did I think of it? The color was vibrant against my pale skin, accentuating my curves in good places. Maybe. My stomach could be flatter, but I didn’t look awful. I should exercise more, but I preferred filming thePoor Relationand sketching. I studied my reflection, turning a bit to see all sides. Could I feel confident dressed in something like the suit? Could I feel confident at all? The cut of the bikini was a bit daring, and I couldn’t shake the feeling I was exposing too much, even if it covered more than I saw on movies or videos.
I decided to keep the blue suit, but I would wear a coverup if I hated it.
Next, I tried on a floral-patterned bikini, softer in style, with pastel pinks and greens. It looked cute on the hanger, but once I put it on, I hated it. The pattern clashed with my hair and the fit was all wrong. Really, really wrong. Not to mention, the back rode up my rear end in a way that wasn’t slightly comfortable. The top felt too loose, and the bottoms felt too tight. I frowned at myself in the mirror. No matter how much I adjusted the straps or shifted my stance, it didn’t make a difference.
Finally, I tried a classic black bikini. The simple and elegant design made me hope it would be more flattering. As I pulled it on, I felt a sense of familiarity and comfort. I usually wore black, and it made me feel more at ease. The fit was snug, but not too tight, and it hugged my curves in a way that felt right. I didn’t look like I belonged in a magazine, but I could live with it. I would make this one, coupled with the one one-piece swimsuitDina had bought me, my go-to swimsuits for the rest of the summer. I could use the blue one sporadically and not buy the floral one.
I left the changing room to find Barrett waiting for me holding two large hats and some large sunglasses.
“I was going to ask you to come out and model them for me but, ah, yeah.” He shot the cashier a look. “Not sure why, but I don’t like the looks that woman is shooting at us, so I didn’t. I don’t know her, but you’d think that I killed her dog.”
I glanced at her before looking back at him. “Does this happen a lot?”
If my guesses were right, it made more sense why the Lents paid such close attention to people who watched them. They weren’t just rich and self-centered, or only interested in how their reputation looked to competitors. Well, probably a little, but it wasn’t the main reason. They would probably be the first to admit they were snobby, but they lived with a whole additional level of worry. What did the person behind the counter see when she looked at them? Could she tell their family was nontraditional? And who would she tell, if she could tell someone something?
I wished I could say something, if only to ask them if my guess was correct.
Barrett shrugged. “Not around here. We’re rich, but so are most people. I don’t know. Maybe she didn’t like the look of us.”
Maybe it is me. Maybe she didn’t like the look of me with them. Then again, she could just be a really mean person, or just have one of those faces which seem pinched and angry at rest. Speculation wasn’t going to get me anywhere.
Barrett neatly stuck the big sunglasses on my face. “There you go. These will do until we can get you some real designer ones. Not here, but you can make these work until then.”
“I don’t need anything designer, really. I don’t want to stick out, but there’s no need to go all out for me. Thanks for helping me with all of this.”
He pulled the glasses back off my face, scowling at me. “Are you kidding? I didn’t know I would love this, but I do. I think I could be happy buying you things for the rest of my life.”
