Page 64 of Claimed By My Exiled Alphas
“Absolutely.” I took a sip of water to buy time. “I’ve been planning this evening for five days. Running probability scenarios, preparing conversation topics, analyzing potential outcomes.”
“And what did your analysis conclude?”
“That I have no idea what I’m doing and should probably just be honest instead of strategic.”
Her expression softened. “I like honest Cassian better than strategic Cassian anyway.”
“Even though strategic Cassian is better at making reservations?”
“Especially then.” She reached across the table and took my hand. The contact sent electricity through me that had nothing to do with analysis or planning. “Tell me something honest. Something you haven’t told anyone else.”
I looked at our joined hands, at the way her smaller fingers fit between mine. At the vulnerability she was asking for with such simple directness.
“I’m terrified I’m going to mess this up,” I said quietly. “Not just with you, but with all of this. Jace and Hollis seem to understand instinctively how relationships work, how to navigate emotional complexity without making everything a strategic problem. And I’m sitting here having made four restaurant reservations because I can’t trust my own judgment about where to take someone on a date.”
“Cassian.”
“I’ve never had a serious relationship. A few short-term things in college, some transactional arrangements that my father set up with appropriate families. But nothing real. Nothing where the other person’s happiness mattered more than maintaining useful connections.” I met her eyes. “And now I’m trying to be part of a pack formation with two alphas who are fundamentally better at being human than I am, and I have no idea how to compete with that.”
“You’re not competing with them.”
“Aren’t I?”
“No.” She squeezed my hand. “You’re offering something completely different than what they offer. And that’s the point. Jace makes me feel adventurous and grounded. Hollis makes me feel safe and understood. You make me feel capable and valued for my competence. I need all three of those things.”
“What if capable and valued isn’t enough?”
“What if it’s exactly what I need most?” She leaned forward. “Cassian, you saved an entire town at enormous personal cost.You gave up your family, your inheritance, everything you were raised to value because it was the right thing to do. That’s not someone who’s bad at being human. That’s someone who chose humanity over everything else.”
The words hit harder than they should have. Maybe because I’d spent three months telling myself the opposite. That sacrificing my family made me a traitor. That choosing principle over profit proved I didn’t understand how the world actually worked.
“My father would disagree.”
“Your father built his identity on exploitation and environmental destruction. His disagreement is a compliment.”
I had to smile at that. “You’re very fierce when you’re defending people.”
“Only people worth defending.” She didn’t let go of my hand. “And you’re worth defending, even from yourself.”
The food arrived, giving me time to process that. The osso buco she’d ordered looked perfect, rich and falling off the bone. My pasta was exactly as described. We ate in comfortable silence for a few minutes.
“Can I ask you something?” Talia said eventually.
“Anything.”
“What do you actually want from this? From us, I mean. Not what you think you should want or what makes strategic sense. What do you want?”
I set down my fork, giving the question the consideration it deserved.What did I want?Beyond the obvious attraction, beyond the practical benefits of pack formation, what was I actually pursuing here?
“I want to matter to someone,” I said finally. “Not for what I can provide or what connections I bring or how useful I am. Just for being myself, whoever that turns out to be when I’m not performing roles my family assigned.” I paused. “And Iwant to build something that’s mine. Not inherited or expected or measured against my father’s accomplishments. Something I chose because it felt right instead of because it was strategically optimal.”
“And you think pack formation with me, Jace, and Hollis could be that?”
“I think you three could be that. If I don’t ruin it by overthinking everything.”
She was quiet for a moment, and I watched emotions flicker across her face too quickly to catalog. Then she said, “I want that too. The mattering without performing thing. Vincent made me feel like I was only valuable when I was being what he needed. Impressive or quiet or professionally successful or personally diminished, depending on what served him.” She took a breath. “And I’m tired of performing. I want to be messy and complicated and still be wanted.”
“Youarewanted. Exactly as you are.”
