Page 20 of A Secret Infatuation
He hastened to explain, although he did not know why he felt the need to do so. “I have come to assess the asylum’s needs so I might faithfully present them in Parliament.”
“But,” she began, perplexed, “you volunteered with the yeomanry in Brighton. You were not in the navy.”
That was true, but he guessed she did not know of his current position in the Admiralty. At first, it did not occur to him to be surprised by her knowledge, for the admiral had spoken of his time in Brighton as a military man. But watching a blush steal up her cheeks, he wondered if she was embarrassed at knowing so much about him.
Something in him went utterly still with delight. Had she been interested enough to inquire after him? “Have you finished your tour in the asylum?”
It was Miss Edwards who answered. “Yes, we have just finished. I wished to show Lady Sophia the wards, for she has promised to help me find endowment subscriptions. I believe she will be more successful at it than I, being an earl’s daughter.”
“Excellent news,” the director said. “Your help is most welcome.”
Felix could not imagine Lady Sophia launching a campaign that involved speaking to various members of Society, urging them to sign up for annual subscriptions. Even she looked doubtful at her ability to do it. He wondered if she had actually agreed to it or whether Miss Edwards had assumed her involvement.
“Have you made a list of people you wish to speak to? Or perhaps you have some in mind?” he asked.
It took Lady Sophia a moment to respond, but he was starting to expect that of her and didn’t mind waiting. “I have not yet given it thought. I will ask my sister if she has any ideas.”
“If you would not object to it, I should like to be of assistance to you.” He held up the piece of paper the director had just given him. “This is a list of items the asylum needs. I would be happy to solicit those requests with you.”
She looked at him in surprise, then replied softly, “I would like that very much.”
That stillness returned—the delight—as though the whole world had stopped to enjoy this moment. Lady Sophia would like his company? Well, he would ensure she had it.
The director turned to shake Felix’s hand. “I will leave you in Miss Edwards’s care, for she knows the asylum almost as well as I do.”
“A good day to you,” he replied, and followed Lady Sophia and Miss Edwards out on the street, where they turned to face him. Wishing to prolong their time together, he asked, “What inspired you for today’s visit?”
Lady Sophia’s eyes scarcely met his, but she was the one to reply. “Miss Mowbray—the admiral’s daughter—is acquainted with Miss Edwards, and she was supposed to come with us today, too. However, her father requested her company at some function, as her mother has gone to visit her sister, so I came alone.”
Felix smiled. “I must guess the admiral did not know his daughter had also been planning to visit the asylum, or perhaps he would have encouraged us to come together.” At the sight of Lady Sophia’s smile fading, he could have kicked himself. With those words, he had unwittingly matched himself with Miss Mowbray.
A large horse trotted toward them, too near to the side of the road, and he pulled the ladies closer to the building. “I hired a hackney to come here. Do you have a carriage waiting for you?”
“The earl’s carriage is in the mews on the street parallel to this one,” Miss Edwards replied.
Lady Sophia softly chimed in, “My footman saw us come out of the asylum, and I believe he will be here with our carriage shortly.”
“I see.” He should heed his father’s words about not reaching above his station; after all, the counsel was wise. But it was difficult to remember, for each time he found himself in her presence, he wanted to see more of her. He had thought his resolution firm concerning Lady Sophia, but he was starting to see that his will curled and disintegrated like paper to a flame whenever she was near. “I was about to propose we walk to Hyde Park from here, since it’s not so very great a distance.”
Lady Sophia inhaled quickly, as though she had something to say. He couldn’t drag his gaze away from her as he waited to see what she would say. Miss Edwards, bless the woman, was not one to rush Lady Sophia either. And with the space to expand, she did speak.
“Perhaps we might take the carriage there and walk in the park itself.”
His smile grew. “I think that’s an even better idea. That is, if you do not mind taking me up in your carriage.”
“Not at all,” she assured him. These words seemed easier to get out, for she did not hesitate. She turned to Miss Edwards. “If you do not object?”
“Not in the least. Besides, it is your carriage and it should not matter a jot if I did.” He liked Miss Edwards.
Once they were on their way to Hyde Park, he asked Miss Edwards about her connection to the asylum and learned of her relationship to Mr. Edwards, the admiral’s private secretary. Of course! He should have thought of it. Then he turned to Lady Sophia.
“It is good of you to help the asylum’s cause, even when it means you are required to speak to people you do not know.” He hoped to bring another smile and less trepidation to her face, but her response was decided and not what he expected.
“It is something I believe a woman of my station must do no matter how challenging. We are under an obligation to relieve the suffering of those less fortunate in whatever way we can—that, and to brighten their lives. It was not a difficult decision to come today—and not so very difficult a decision to promise I would seek out donations.”
Felix had only time to nod before the carriage came to a stop and he helped them out of it, but an uncomfortable realization settled on him as the meaning of her words hit home. He had to consider the fact that she might be humoring him by offering her company. She might be attempting to brighten his life as one so very much her inferior. After all, a true lady was always polite. Perhaps she was only giving him such special attention because she felt it her duty. The likelihood that such a thing was true made for sober reflection.
Suddenly it became of utmost importance that she see him as an equal rather than one who required her charity. His thoughts returned to the house in Russell Square. That purchase would prove his eligibility to a degree. But he could not rush such an important decision for such a paltry reason as needing to prove his worth.
