Page 52 of A Brilliant Match
Her ideas of what an advantageous match entailed had undergone a change. No, she could not marry Lord Hastings, despite his exemplary title and his estate. And for all that his land being situated on the moors of Northumberland had once been an impediment for her, she knew that even if his estate had been closer to London, she must still decline. Even if he were younger, she must decline. His presence simply had no effect on the state of her heart.
At precisely two-thirty in the afternoon, his knock came on the front door. Dorothea gave a nod to Sophia, who slipped out of the door in anticipation of this interview. She’d been forewarned what was coming and gave Dorothea the privacy she required. Lord Hastings was shown into the room, and Dorothea stood to greet him, hoping he would come to the point quickly so she might put the uncomfortable interview behind her.
“Lady Dorothea, how good it is to see you again.” Lord Hasting’s expression showed real pleasure and a tiny spear of guilt pricked her. Guilt, but not doubt.
“Welcome back, my lord.” She curtsied, then gestured to the chairs behind her. “Will you sit?”
“With pleasure.” Upon taking his seat, he faced her in what seemed to her an expectant silence, which she found a little alarming. He did not expect her to broach the subject, did he?
She gave a tight smile with lips firmly shut, and at last he opened his own. “Well, well. I suppose you can hardly begin the conversation we are to have, can you? But as you must certainly have guessed, I have come in anticipation of hearing your answer to my proposal. Will you make me the happiest man alive and accept my hand in marriage?”
The happiest man alive?Where had this sudden infusion of passion come from? She wondered if Miles would consider himself the happiest man alive if she returned a favorable answer. He might, Dorothea thought, but he would be more likely to show it than to say it. The image of Miles holding her in his arms and kissing her temple filled her mind. It forced her words out in perhaps a less carefully controlled manner than she might otherwise have spoken them.
“I thank you for the honor of your proposal and for your willingness to give me the time I needed to think it over.” She paused only to take a breath. “I am afraid I will have to turn down your very flattering offer.”
Lord Hastings brought his eyes to hers, the initial surprise quickly changing to dismay at her refusal. “I had quite thought you meant to accept me. May I ask the reason for your refusal?”
Dorothea had not planned on having to justify her reasons and didn’t think it fair of him to ask it of her.
“I…I did not mean to give you false encouragement. It is only that I did not know my heart earlier and required time to examine the matter more closely. I have come to the conclusion that we won’t suit.”
Despite Lord Hastings’s look of regret, Dorothea felt the most enormous relief as soon as the words were out. Miles might not propose a second time, but at least she was certain of how she felt about Lord Hastings. He would not do for her. Her total absence of finer emotions did not permit considering the matter any further.
Lord Hastings leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, and he brought his fingers together. “I will not hide my disappointment from you. You are certain that this is your final answer?”
“It is. Again, I am sorry I could not return a favorable reply.” Dorothea stood, knowing that he would then be obliged to bring the interview to an end.
He also got to his feet and hesitated before bowing. “Well, I shall not detain you, my lady. Allow me to wish you a pleasant afternoon.”
Minutes after the door had closed behind Lord Hastings, her mother came into the room. Dorothea was still unsettled by the interview, for it was never a pleasant thing to disappoint a person. But it was with a much lighter heart that she met her mother’s gaze.
“Lord Hastings had requested an interview, and he just left.”
Lady Poole took a seat opposite to her and met her eyes. It was unusual for her mother to sit in a way that invited confidence, and it surprised Dorothea.
“Am I to congratulate you, then, on your upcoming betrothal?”
“No, for I have turned him down.” She studied her mother’s face to see how she would react to the news. Would she be disappointed in her? Did she care at all? Her mother was so difficult to read. “I found we did not suit.”
Her mother tilted her blonde-and-silver curls to one side. Her face looked plumper than it had before, and Dorothea wondered when the change had taken place. She looked more youthful, somehow, as she studied Dorothea.
“I must admit that I am glad to hear it, for I could see very well you did not suit.”
Dorothea was not in the habit of receiving such frankness from her mother, and she could only ask, “Why is that?”
“I could see he had not touched your heart, and I would not wish to see you in a marriage where your heart had not been engaged.”
This was such a surprising foray into honest speech that Dorothea blurted out the question she had always wanted to know the answer to—one that had some bearing on the topic at hand.
“Did you and my father have a love match?”
Her question sounded plaintive, and as soon as the words were out, she was horrified at both the impudence of her question and what it revealed about her. Whereas she had always prided herself on acting rationally rather than giving into sentiment, she was just as emotional as any of them.
Her mother attempted a smile, but it was pained. “I had developed a greattendrefor your father, for who could not? He was exceedingly agreeable, paid me the most particular attention, and as you well know, was above my station. For him to single me out from all the other young ladies was a great coup, and I counted myself fortunate. I thought myself very much in love.”
Dorothea searched her mother’s face for understanding. “I am led by your words to understand that such a sentiment did not last.”
Her mother folded her hands on her lap and sighed. “No, it did not last. I never did learn what your father saw in me to induce him to propose, as there were many other girls whose looks were as fetching as mine and whose station was superior. But propose he did.”
