Page 50 of A Brilliant Match
He lifted his hand, as though by instinct, then lowered it. Dorothea stopped and looked at him quite deliberately. She allowed her lips to turn upwards, though she trembled at the thought of speaking to him again. Her emotions seemed to fly out of her without anything to rein them in whenever she was in his presence.
He froze when he saw her smile, then put his hand on his friend’s arm and leaned in to speak. His friend slowed the carriage, and Miles leapt out easily before striding over to them.
He greeted the three of them with a bow, his earnest gaze lingering on Dorothea.
“It is a fine day, my ladies, is it not? The first day where one might almost grow too warm when standing in the sun.”
“’Tis a fine day,” Dorothea agreed.
She glanced at her sisters and turned to walk forward again, ducking her head and wondering if he would follow. He did.
Lady Sophia slipped her arm into Camilla’s, and Dorothea walked at his side, adjusting herself to his pace. They began with commonplaces and walked in such a leisurely manner, they soon fell behind, out of earshot of her sisters.
“Did you know your mother came to visit me?”
“I did not know of her intention to do so, but I learned of it after she had returned.” He glanced at her and offered a lopsided grin. “She was the one who gave me the courage to approach you today after you told me you never wished to see me again.” This last bit was said with just a touch of self-deprecating humor.
Dorothea allowed her lips to curve upwards. “I apologize for lacking restraint in my speech. I was angry.”
“You had every right to be, and I am heartily sorry for my part in provoking you to it.”
Miles closed the distance between them and offered his arm. She slipped her hand into it, and they walked quietly that way for a space. Dorothea relaxed with the relief of having peace with Miles again.
Miles leaned down for her ears only. “I must say that, although I was not happy to be on the receiving end of your words—words I very much deserved—Iwasglad to see the passion. Society has a way of ripping the deeper emotions out of us at times, and I should not like for that to happen to you.”
Her heart began to race as she decided to open up to him about what she had learned. It was an entirely novel thing to bare her soul to someone else, but the desire to do so was strong—a terrifyingly sweet sort of urge.
“I have come to the realization that as much as I have accused you of being mercenary, I am equally so myself. You are in search of a dowry, and I am in search of a title. It really is the same thing, and it was unfair of me to accuse you.”
“Now, this has always puzzled me.” He turned his head toward her, and his keen eyes seemed to see into her. “You have a title. You are the daughter of an earl, and nothing will change that. Why are you so bent upon finding a gentleman who possesses one as well?”
“Because…” Dorothea struggled to put her reasoning into words. She had always thought it—always known it—but she had never had to voice such a thing. She looked away in order to think properly. “Because I am the oldest sister, and if I don’t marry well, then I fear my sisters will be lost. It is my responsibility to pave the way.”
“But how is that? Lost in what way?”
He was genuinely confused, so she tried to explain it to him more clearly. “Don’t you see? My mother cannot help us find our place in Society. She is too easily cowed to do so, which means it is left to us to care for her.Ihave to care for her.”
She looked ahead, then lowered her voice to a near whisper, ashamed of what she was revealing about her family.
“Sophia is sweet, but she’s a sweet widgeon, you must own. Without my help, she is unlikely to find a husband who will be a good match for her, for she will likely accept the first man out of pity or refuse them all out of fear.
“Camilla, I am sorry to say, is forgettable as far as looks are concerned, and has the personality of a maid-of-all-work. I have a great fear that she is destined for spinsterhood. Joanna is pretty and has vivacity, but she might as well wear breeches, for she’s bent on spurning everything to do with becoming a lady. What gentleman will take her in that state?”
She darted a glance at him to see if he understood, but his face was inscrutable. “Tilly is the spitting image of my mother,” she went on, “which bodes ill for the husband who one day takes her on, for she won’t lift a finger to run the household. It will fall to him to do so—or their eldest daughter.
“And Everard! Evo thinks only of his pranks and mischief. He’ll end up plunking down the entirety of the family’s fortune the minute he’s reached his majority. I am trying to bring them all on the right path, but I fear I’ve only failed them.”
Miles pulled her to a stop and stared at her, their faces inches apart. He spoke in a very low voice. “Dorry, do you hear yourself? Do you?”
She froze. It was the first time she had heard censure in his voice.
He shook his head. “There are so many flaws in your reasoning, I do not know where to begin.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, hating herself for being so vulnerable, so obtuse. But she had to know what he saw that she could not.
“What I mean is that you judge your family unfairly. They are not the sum of what you see, as though your perception leaves them with no hope apart from what you judge. People are complex. And you”—he shook his head, leveling her with his gaze—“you take too much upon yourself. It is more than is good for youorfor them. Have you asked your mother why she requires so much care? Have you given responsibility to Sophia so she might feel useful? Have you searched for the good in Camilla as thoroughly as you’ve searched for her flaws?”
She couldn’t answer, nor could she break away from his gaze. When she remained mute, he continued in a softer voice. “I won’t go on. I believe I have explained myself well enough.”
