Page 27 of Penalty Shot
Randall:You’ve got my attention. Say more.
Elise:There are a surprising number of men who post pictures of themselves with animals, did you know that? A dog or cat can be cute, but I’ve seen parrots, stingrays, iguanas…
Randall:Did she say she likes animals in her profile?
Elise:Not a word, but here we are.
Randall:Why are you doing this for your mom anyway?
Elise:It seemed like a good idea at the time, when she finally agreed to consider dating. She’s been a widow for nine years and although she never complains about being lonely, she hardly does any of the things she used to enjoy.
Randall:Like?
Elise:Go out dancing, for one thing. My parents were members of a ballroom dance studio that met at least once a week. And travel! That’s a big one. She used to love traveling.
Randall:It can’t be that hard to find a guy who likes to dance and travel.
Elise:You mean likeAdventureAdamwho posted pictures of himself swimming with sharks?
Randall:Ya, that’s a bit weird. Sorry I can’t be much help. Never been on an app.
Elise:C’mon, don’t tell me you’ve never been on Tinder.
Randall:Never. Have you?
Elise:Bumble. I’m on it now.
Randall: [Bubble dots come and go for a few minutes]Why?
Randall:I mean I know why but I thought you don’t…
Elise:Hook up while I’m in production? Yeah, but I have my profile up.
Randall:Can I see it?
Elise:Not if we don’t match.
Randall:I might not know a thing about dating apps, Elise, but we’d fucking match.
Elise:Don’t tell me you’d right swipe on a theater enthusiast who nerds out on vintage Broadway posters.
Randall:Vintage Broadway posters sound cool.
Elise:Anyway, if you know a man in his fifties to sixties who likes to ballroom dance and travel, send him our way.
Randall:You know, some of the best matches aren’t about having the same interests but sharing new ones.
Elise:Dang, Dr. Phil, that was deep. I’ll keep it in mind.
An hour later…
Randall:Elise?
Elise:What’s up?
Randall:Are you really on a dating site?[deleted]
Randall:Why do you need an app when you’ve got my number?[deleted]
