Page 19 of Paradise Found
When she went for long summer runs, she didn’t stay up all night remembering the pleasure of his attentions, the beauty of his body. And when she went out with friends, she pretended that meeting new people didn’t feel like she was the biggest fake in the world.
Inevitably, the day she dreaded arrived. It brought news that Mr. Talstad had returned from Europe and was to be rescheduled into their regular rounds.
“Why can’t you cover for Malia?” her mom asked. “It’s only for a few hours. You’ve finished payroll, and this is extra cash for you. C’mon, things are picking up now that people are back from summer vacation.”
Axel’s place was always one of the last to be cleaned on Thursdays. She figured she could commit to the morning and avoid his house.
“I can help, but I’ve got an appointment after lunch.”
Mrs. Valdez nodded absentmindedly, thankfully oblivious to her daughter’s conflicted expressions: excitement and dread, hope and sadness.
So, when the crew pulled up his driveway first thing the next day, Oleanna almost screamed at her mother. She held back frustration and spoke through gritted teeth. “Why are we cleaning Mr. Talstad’s house first?”
“He’s home later this afternoon and asked us to come while he’s at the gym. Why does it matter? You’ll finish before lunch, like we talked about.”
Knowing he wouldn’t be home flooded her with relief. But it was relief mixed with the bitter taste of desolation.
All her efforts to forget him, all her delusions about her feelings, all the workouts and outings and overtime hours she used to fill her empty life were worthless.
Oleanna walked into his house and was hit with a longing so powerful, she almost fell to her knees.
His clean, pine smell was everywhere. The remnants of his coffee cup on the counter reminded her of his beautiful, intelligent mouth. And when she stripped his bed, she felt tears trickle down her cheeks. She wiped her face into his pillowcase and breathed deeply.
Her body clenched immediately because it knew, as much as her heart did, that there would never be another Axel Talstad.
Stop,she scolded herself.You made a decision, and it’s too late to back out now. The worst thing you can do is…
“Sorry, Mrs. Valdez! Don’t mind me, I forgot my compression socks.”
He was here! Holy shit, Axel was in the house! Getting socks! Getting socks meant he would come throughthisdoor!
Oleanna dropped to the floor, banging her knees and turning toward the wall. She pretended to gather strips of bedsheets when she heard him enter and stride toward his walk-in closet.
While in there, he called out to say, “I’ll be out of your hair in a second!” because that’s what you say to the maid cleaning your room.
She heard a drawer open, close, and then he was in the room with her. Ten feet away, he paused.
“Sorry to bother you, um, and thanks!” he called cheerily before jetting out so fast, she didn’t get a glimpse of him.
Still, his energy lingered in the air. The exquisite sound of his voice made her swoon. His voice was casual and carefree. It triggered a sense of longing that wove into the fabric of her memories. When he spoke sensual and demanding words she would never forget.
Where did you come from, Oleanna? It’s like you came straight from my dreams, do you know that?
I wanna look at you when I come. Get up here and kiss me.
Touch yourself, Oleanna. I want to watch you touch yourself.
Now that I found you, I can’t imagine letting you go.
The declarations she heard in her dreams every night hit her like a sucker punch and made her crumple on his floor. She bent over to bury her head in his bedsheets.
The irony of the situation—that she was tangled up in sheets that had touched his body when he was so far beyond her reach—worsened her emotional turmoil.
As relieved as she was that he didn’t see her, she was also devastated. Because if there’s one thing that proved she was right to walk away, it was this:he saw her, but he didn’t see her.
It wasn’t just understandable. It was expected.
Taking a deep and resolute breath, Oleanna stood on wobbly legs. She roughly gathered the bedsheets to take to the laundry room. Her movement tilted the side table, and a dresser opened.
