Page 52 of Peak of Love
“This is for you, Dane.”
She held out a postcard with the picture of a Manchester United player.
“For me?” The question sounded like a croak, because that didn’t make sense. Why would there be something forhimin a box of Celina’s postcards?
“Maybe he wrote it and never had the chance to send?” she offered.
Cautiously, he nodded. “That does sound like Asher.”
Dane’s hands were shaking when he took the postcard. The words were written in a messy scribble. Reading it was like having Asher’s voice in his ear.
Wish you were here and all that. Hey, I need a favor. Celina’s having a tough time with Sydney. I worry, you know? Check in on her for me. She’s miserable and it’s driving me nuts. Thanks, man.
Dane’s knees buckled. He found himself on the floor, looking at a fireplace that had turned blurry. In his mind’s eye, he could see Asher buying the postcard in a shop, scribbling something on the spot, stuffing it in his sports bag, and never getting the chance to mail it. Asher probably found it when he unpacked at home, and quickly stuffed it in the shoe box of Celina’s postcards.
From the edges of his consciousness, Dane felt Celina approach. She knelt on the floor, her hand gently stroking his hair.
I worry, you know? Check in on her for me.
She remained silent through his dazed state, letting him work through the emotions that flooded his body and came out in tears. Tears for his best friend. Tears for the best man he had ever known. Tears for the deep ache of missing someone so deeply ingrained in Dane’s life, the loss ripped into the fabric of his existence.
When his heart beat steadily and his anguish wrung out, he allowed Celina to pull him to the floor so his head was on her lap. He looked up at her face, peaceful and pensive as her dazed eyes caught the fire’s flickers.
“I wasn’t there when you needed someone. I’m sorry, Celina.”
“Oh, Dane, please don’t apologize for something that happened, what, fifteen years ago?”
They were quiet for a while before she spoke again. “Asher knew. Before you and I would figure it out, he knew.”
“Knew what?”
“We were always going to look out for each other. Because that’s what he did for both of us. He took care of us and taught us how to take care of each other.”
He sat up to hold her hands in his. “I’ll take care of you and the boys. You know that, right? You’ll want for nothing.”
“Oh, Dane, that’s not what I mean by taking care of each other.” She squeezed his hands and leaned over to kiss his lips softly. “Your generosity is amazing. But it will never be what I or the boys truly want from you.”
“Why shouldn’t I spend my life giving you and the boys what you need, Celina? What is the point of me if I can’t dothat.” His face was pained, his mind exasperated. Words weren’t anywhere near sufficient for expressing his feelings.
“They just want you, Dane. Not what you can give them.You.”
Dane struggled to control his expression, which was torn between gratefulness and frustration. He always considered Asher’s friendship to be the most important relationship of his life. At some level, he realized, he’d also known that wasn’t entirely true. Because Celina was there. It was never just Asher. For a very long time, even before he let himself love her, Dane felt that his life was better—fuller—because Celina was in it.
What could he give in return for her constant presence? Her inspiring strength? Her unrelenting loyalty? What could he offer in return for her love?
“I’m not sure if I’m enough.” He wasn’t fishing for compliments or looking to be comforted. Dane simply spoke the truth.
“You’re not enough, Dane,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning her forehead against his. His heart ached at her words though he couldn’t argue with the statement. Celina and the twins deserved only the very best. He was far fromthat.
“You’re notenoughbecause you’reeverything.”
They stared at each other for a while. Celina earnest and kind. Dane stunned.
He grabbed her like a drowning man finding a life raft. Having her close, feeling her body yield to his, hearing her words, brought him a rush of joy. Their mouths crashed, their bodies tangled, their hearts burst.
He pulled away to tell her everything he’d been holding back.
“You can’t imagine how happy Jonas and Jerome make me. Even if I don’t deserve to be, I’m bursting with pride for them. To watch them grow up with you is the greatest honor of my life. I love you for the gift of those two boys.”
