Page 46 of Peak of Love
“Don’t let all those expensive suits and golf shirts fool you. DC is a hub for kinky clubs.”
“Really?” She was mostly giving developmental feedback on pacing and characterization. However, there was no harm in helping with the sex scenes. Her question was really about research. She wasn’tpersonallyintrigued at all. OK, maybe a little.
“Now look who’s interested,” Tori teased. “Well, what do you want to know?”
Celina thought about the question the way it was meant to be considered. Which was as a light, fun chatter between girlfriends who happened to be sisters.
A deeper uncertainty, something that had been nagging her for a while, imposed itself on the conversation.
“What’s wrong?” Tori immediately sensed the change in Celina.
“Nothing’s wrong. It’s just… ” Celina’s eyes shifted around the room, anywhere except in her sister’s direction.
“Honey, just tell me. The kids are in school and there’s no judgment from me.” Tori leaned in and demanded, “Spill it.”
As if the instructions broke a spell of silence, that’s exactly what she did. Words spilled out like a jar of marbles crashing on the floor: noisy, uncontrollable, and messy. Maybe even a little dangerous.
“I slept with Dane and I’ve never, shit, I’veneverhad a more erotic experience in my life. Mind-blowing sexy shit, Tori. Like what the hell? I literally can’t read this fucking manuscript without thinking about him. Who am I kidding? I can’t pass five minutes without thinking about him. And I feel ridiculous because it only happened once—I mean the sleeping together, not the orgasms. Because those wereplentybefore we even slept together. I swear, just the way he touched me and looked at me was like being lit up from inside. And of course I can’t help feeling like that’s a betrayal. Not in a direct sense. I know I’m not cheating on Asher. Yet my body reacts to Dane so intensely and so unbelievably fucking hot, it’s like nothing I ever experienced before. Is that a kind of betrayal, maybe? I don’t know. I don’t think so. Although—”
“Celina. Celina, stop and breathe, hon. You need to breathe.”
She didn’t realize she was gasping for air. Trying to slow her thumping heart, Celina closed her eyes. They remained closed as Tori took one of her hands and stroked it gently.
“Remember when Mom would do this for me before we would take off on a plane?” Tori asked, continuing to massage Celina’s hand, pressing soothing circles on her palm.
“You loved travelling even though you hated to fly. This helped you relax.” Celina felt the moment her fingers slumped over Tori’s easing touch. Focusing on her relaxed hand allowed her to breathe deeper and unclench her jaw.
“Is it helping?” Tori whispered.
“It is. Thanks, Tori. I’m fine. I don’t even know what that was.” She was embarrassed by the outburst, although she couldn’t take back what she said. Because she meant it. Every word.
“It was honesty. More than anyone, you’ve earned the right to be honest with yourself,” Tori stated. “The question I have is, were you honest with Dane? Did you ever tell him what you said to me?”
She couldn’t speak because something lodged in her throat. Like maybe she had swallowed one of those proverbial marbles she’d spilled.
“I’ve only been here for a couple of days and I’ve noticed how the boys talk about him all the time. You, however, don’t talk about him at all.”
“It wouldn’t have worked out. I’m such a mess, Tori. I want him but I’m scared to want him. I think about him when I shouldn’t. And he already does so much for the boys, even when he doesn’t have to!”
“Marcelina, look at me.” Oh boy, when that full name came out, big sister was about topreach.
“Do you really think anything Dane’s ever done for you is something hehadto do?”
“Well, no—”
“When are you going to realize that every minute he spends with the boys is by choice? And maybe every minute you think about him, he’s thinking about you too.”
“No, that can’t be right. He’s been in and out of here for months. Ever since I, um, I told him it wouldn’t work, he hasn’t brought it up. He’s definitely moved on.”
“You asked him this?”
“I didn’t have to.”
“What if you’re wrong? What if he’s waiting for you to bring it up? What’s the worst that can happen if you sayDane, I don’t know how I’m going to be a successful developmental editor of dark erotica if you don’t tie me up in bed.”
“Shut up!” she blurted, with no harshness. She was smiling at the thought of Dane in her bed.
“Look, I’m sure you both feel like this is complicated. And your life is damn complicated enough with growing boys and a house to run and sex scenes to edit. From where I’m standing, though? It’s pretty fucking simple.”
