Page 48 of Peak of Love
“I’m sorry about how I treated you when Parker saw us. I’m sorry I kicked you out. I’m sorry that I thought being alone was better than being with you. I was wrong.” She was speaking in a rush, as if trying to keep up with the breathless pace of her thoughts.
“I’m around all the time,” he managed to eke out, despite his brain snagging on the various implications of her words. If she regretted how she reacted to Parker, did that mean she had talked to the Whittakers about him? If she was wrong about kicking Dane out, did that mean she no longer wanted to be alone?
“Yes, you’re around all the time for the boys. You’re amazing with them. Everything you do for them… I can’t tha—”
“Don’t do that,” he interrupted. “Don’t thank me for being with the twins.”
“Why shouldn’t I?”
A sense of indignation crept into his voice. “When youthankme, you make it sound like I’m doing you or them a favor. It makes me feel like an outsider.”
“Oh, Dane, I’m so sorry. That’s never how I meant it. Please believe me.”
He had been sitting on the other end of the lounger. As she spoke, she moved closer in a motion a little bit like a scoot and a hell of a lot like a crawl. It made her neckline gape just enough so he could see the beginning of a lacy black bra.
“You’re the farthest thing from an outsider.” Her whisper sounded like an invitation.
Dane took a large gulp of his drink to calm his arousal. She hadn’t been this close to him sincethat morning. Fuck, she smelled incredible. At the corner of his eye, he watched Celina lick her pouty lips, leaving a sheen that reflected the fire’s amber light.
He struggled to process beyond the detail of her moist lips because Dane couldn’t tear his eyes from her mouth. Except for the slight quiver as she inhaled, Celina was utterly still.
When he finally raised his eyes to meet her expectant gaze, he heard words that came from his own mouth. Words that somehow skipped the part of his brain that audited for raw vulnerability.
“Then whatamI to you, Celina?” Asking this was equivalent to turning himself inside out. His heart was hers and he didn’t know how to take it back, even if he wanted to. Even if he shouldn’t have offered it to begin with.
“You’re a great friend. The very best friend.”
He felt the warmth of her kind words and the stab of their insufficiency. No doubt, she loved him that way. And he accepted it like the beggar that he was.
Struggling to keep composure, Dane’s jaw muscles tightened and his forearms flexed. He held himself back, the way a friend would. Because the very best kind of friend wouldn’t grab the back of her neck and plunder her mouth. Wouldn’t lift her gorgeous body over his hips so he could grind up with his rigid cock.
“What happened that morning is behind us. There’s no need to be sorry,” he stated stiffly. “As for being a friend, well, our friendship was never in doubt. I never once questioned it.”
Even when it wasn’t enough. Even when it would never be enough.
“I know.” Her voice was thick. The way someone sounded when they were sick with yearning. That had to be Dane projecting his own desperation. Or this scotch was potent as fuck.
“Then why are you here, Celina?”
Why are you here, Celina?
Legit question, she thought to herself. There were a ton of ways to answer. It wasn’t too late to offer vague sentiments about how much he meant to them. Drivel about how she’d like to do more things with him and the boys. Maybe even a cautious questioning of whether or not he’d been avoiding her. All reasonable responses to a legit question.
However, they weren’t complete answers, were they? She hadn’t come to his front door to ask cautious questions or offer mundane assurances or express lukewarm sentiments. If that were the case, she certainly wouldn’t have worn the sexiest dress in her wardrobe.
No, the complete answer was this: Celina came to win back a man who belonged in her life and not just her sons’. A man who owned and cared for her heart even before she realized she had given it to him.
Something about his stark, high cheekbones and controlled stare galvanized her courage. She moved her hand over his balled fist, encouraging him to loosen his fingers. When he took the hand she offered, her blood zinged with electric currents of excitement and relief and happiness.
“I’m here because there are things I need to say. In person.”
He kept looking at her like she was growing horns or had spinach between her teeth. She pulled back her hand to touch her face self-consciously. He tightened his grip, although he said nothing.
“First of all, you’re amazing. I’m not going to thank you, but I don’t think I say it enough. How incredible you are. Seeing you with Jonas and Jerome makes my heart feel full. How can you be an outsider when you are exactly the kind of person I want my sons to be? Generous and hardworking and loving. The thing is… ” She paused, trying to find the words.
“The thing is, I want you with me, too. I let time pass and kept myself busy. I tried running and relaxation.Self-care stuff, you know? I’ve even reconnected with some friends from college. None of these made up for the fact that I wanted more of you and didn’t know how to ask.”
Still, he was quiet. It was fine because Celina had apparently been storing a lot of words that suddenly needed to be said.
