Page 38 of Peak of Love
She stopped talking and looked at him, her beautiful brown eyes offered kindness but not openness. He wanted to get closer, to pry further.
“Say it.” This time he wasn’t begging, he was ordering. She must have heard the desperation behind the demand.
“You’re amazing. That was incredible. Every bit as generous and mind blowing as I imagined when you first touched me. There’s no doubt about it, Dane. What you gave me tonight? There are no words for how perfect it was.”
Roughly swiping the back of her hand against her wet cheek, she continued. “That’s the problem, isn’t it? I guess there’s something wrong with me because the better something is, the less I trust it.”
“You don’t trust me?!” The words clawed their way up his tight throat.
“No, that’s not it! I’m not explaining myself well.” She paused and reached out to put her hand over his. “Dane, I’d trust you with my life. Yet I think, wait, Iknow,I’m broken. And the way you made me feel whole, that can’t be trusted.”
He had always suspected that part of Celina—the core that was intact before losing Asher—hadn’t survived. Unscathed hope and unfettered glee were forever gone.Crushed.
Yet Dane also realized that he wanted that, too. The parts that were crushed were no less stunning to him because they were pieces of who she was. She gathered the damaged fragments of a past life—bits that were layered and angled and crumpled—in order to raise her boys and face the world. Every broken part of Celina only made her more beautiful to him.
“I’m broken too, Celina. We both lost him. Lots of things are rebuilt with fragments. You’ve proven that more than anyone. You picked up every fractured and fallen piece of an unspeakable tragedy and created a home for your sons. Most of all, you became the woman you are today.”
He took her face in the cradle of his palms. “Nothing in the world is more beautiful than you. Nothing.” He spoke with unshakable certainty. Still, he wanted to say more, although she wasn’t ready to hear it.
All of me—every unworthy fragment of my body and soul and heart—is yours. I can’t restore what you lost, but maybe I can create something new with you. For you. For the woman I love.
“It isn’t the same if it isn’t whole.” Her trembling statement interrupted his thoughts.
“Baby, it doesn’t have to be the same.”
That seemed to get through to her, somehow.
“It doesn’t?”
“Celina, this can be as imperfect and ragged and messy as you need it to be so you can trust it.”
Her smile was hesitant when she leaned closer to him. “That doesn’t even make sense.”
“See? Exactly. We’re alreadya senseless mess with low expectations.”
She looked up at him, and his heart stalled before it decided to beat out of his chest. Her gorgeous face, lips swollen from kissing and eyes swollen from crying, made him so unbelievably happy simply because it filled his vision.
“You wanna see a senseless mess with low expectations? Have you been to the boys’ rooms?”
“I tucked them in yesterday,” he reminded her with a wry expression.
Her smile widened. “Yeah, you did, didn’t you? That was yesterday?”
“Remind me to sync our calendars.”
“Wow! Nowthere’san appealing offer,” she teased.
“Don’t get me started on appealing offers.”
“I’ve got one,” she stated. “I was about to have wine and pretzels for dinner while watching TV. Wanna stay for a show?”
“Only if it’s a senseless mess with low expectations,” he declared, before kissing her hard.
They ended up watching a movie she loved,Deadpool,though not for reasons of enjoyment. Or not only for it. The boys were asking if they could watch it soon. After revisiting the movie, the answer was:hell no.Maybe in a few years.
She shut off the television and began to clean up.
“Want to watch the next one?” Dane asked while stretching. He napped through most Marvel movies, claiming they were more interesting that way. It was one of his few flaws.
