Page 11 of Peak of Love
She had changed into pajamas, hair in a wet drape over her shoulders. It was a relief that she was her recognizable self again: head up, legs steady, and chin as stubborn as the first moment he ever laid eyes on her.
“Got another one of those for me?” she asked, pointing to the tumbler.
“This is yours. Want ice?”
“Well, yeah! Your freezer makes those large cubes the size of the glass.”
He laughed as he walked to the ice dispenser. She gratefully took the scotch and sipped appreciatively before sitting on a club chair closest to the fire. After pouring himself a drink, Dane took the seat across. They stayed in companionable silence for a while.
“My sisters say I should start dating. That I need to get out of my comfort zone in order to… ” she trailed off while looking into the fire.
“In order to what?” Dane prompted.
“Find balance or some shit,” was her answer, accompanied by a self-deprecating chuckle. “Who knows?”
A lump lodged in his throat though he managed to respond steadily. “What doyouthink? Are you ready to date?”
“How do you know when you’re ready to date? That’s not a rhetorical question, by the way. I’m serious. What does it mean for a thirty-four-year-old woman to get out of her comfort zone? What evenisdating?”
“Whatever you want it to mean. That’s the point. The only rules are the ones you decide for yourself.”
“I was with Asher since we were fifteen, Dane. I married my best friend. He made me who I am. We went everywhere together, figured out the world together. And then there was the house and the boys and the jobs. Whatever dating means today, I’m pretty sure I’m out of the loop.”
Before he could stop himself, he asked, “What did dating mean for you and Asher?”Oh shit,what if remembering Asher ruined the night for her? Instead of conveying sadness, her eyes warmed with affection, allowing him to swallow relief with a sip of scotch.
“Dating for us was getting up earlier than the boys so we could incrementally finish a movie that would take us a week to get through. It was sneaking Halloween candy into bed after we tucked the kids in. Or rubbing each other’s feet, or laughing at cat videos, or trying a new recipe that didn’t include chicken nuggets.”
Her pause was filled with the embers of longing. “Dating was just being together and building a life,” Celina whispered.
He had to take a drink to shove down the onrush of emotions. What was she asking of him, exactly? The truth, no matter its consequence.
“Here’s the thing, Celina. What you had with Asher is exactlywhypeople date. So they can be together and build a life. But you’re right. There’s a bit of a song and dance before that. Adults aren’t quite as forthright as fifteen-year-old high school sweethearts.”
She sighed. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
They were quiet again. Before he could stop himself, the words tumbled out. “What can I do? What do you need from me?”
He couldn’t help it. The default response to having Celina confused or in any way upset launched him into this mode.Help her. Make things better for her. Lay the world at her feet.Wait, what?!
“You could. You could help me, I think.”
He was surprised by both her words and the way she said them. She inspected a spot between their chairs as if some kind of revelation landed there.
“Tonight, you, um, you showed me something I hadn’t realized.”
“The enlightenment of a mind-blowing orgasm?”
“Arrogant much?”
“Are you denying it?”
“The mind-blowing part? Or the enlightenment?”
He raised a brow to indicate what she admitted.
“OK, fine, it was mind blowing. Don’t look so smug. It’s just that I liked how simple you made it. Howdirect.You showed me that… what did you say? It’s OK to want this. And you’re right. I don’t want to stumble into dating full of insecurities.”
“There’s absolutely nothing for you to be insecure about,” he declared.
