Page 63 of Nine Months to Love
I collapse against Stefan’s chest, my body still trembling with aftershocks. His arms wrap around me, holding me close as we both struggle to catch our breath. The yacht rocks gently beneath us, and somewhere above deck, I can hear the distant cry of seabirds.
This is when it hits me—the full weight of what we’ve just done, what we keep doing to each other. The physical pleasure fades and something uglier takes its place. My throat tightens.
“Hey, hey,” Stefan murmurs, feeling the shift in my body. “What’s wrong?”
Everything. Nothing. The fact that I’m falling in love with a man who cannot ever love me back. The fact that I’m carrying his child while his maybe-dead mother plays mind games and his empire crumbles around us. The fact that, despite all of it—the lies, the violence, the impossibility of us—I can’t imagine my life without him anymore.
The tears come before I can stop them, hot and sudden against his chest.
“Olivia?” Real alarm creeps into his voice now. He tries to pull back to look at my face, but I burrow deeper into his neck, hiding.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re crying.” His hands frame my face. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”
I shake my head, but the tears keep coming, hot and unstoppable. “No, you didn’t... I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m?—”
“Talk to me.” His thumbs wipe at my cheeks, but it’s useless. The tears just keep flowing. “Please. Tell me what’s happening.”
“I’ve never...” I take a shuddering breath, trying to find words for this feeling that’s too big for my body. “I’ve never felt this way before.”
“What way?”
“Like I’m drowning and flying at the same time. My skin can’t contain what I feel for you.” I press my palms against my eyes, embarrassed by the admission. “God, I sound insane.”
“You don’t.” He gently pulls my hands away from my face, forcing me to look at him. “Keep going.”
“I’m scared, okay? I’m fucking terrified.” The words pour out now, unstoppable as the tears. “Because this thing between us... it’s too much. It’s too intense. I feel like it’s going to destroy me.”
“Olivia—”
“No, let me finish.” I need to get this out before I lose my nerve. “I’ve built my whole life on control. On keeping everything neat and organized and safe. But with you, there’s no control. There’s just this... this wildfire that consumes everything in its path. And I want it—God help me, I want to burn—but I’m so scared of what’ll be left when the fire dies out.”
Stefan shifts, pulling me against his chest. His heartbeat thunders against my ear, faster than I expected. When he speaks, his voice is soft and sad. “You think you’re the only one terrified here?”
I pull back to look at him. His eyes are bright, almost fevered in the moonlight streaming through the cabin window.
“You walked into my life and demolished everything I thought I knew about myself,” he continues. “Every wall, every defense, every fucking rule I lived by—gone. You want to talk about destruction? You’ve already destroyed me, Olivia. Completely.”
“That’s not?—”
“But here’s the difference.” His hand cups my jaw, thumb stroking my cheekbone. “I’m not afraid of the ashes. Because whatever gets rebuilt from them will be better. Stronger. Real.”
“How can you know that?”
“I don’t. But I know this.” He leans down, pressing his forehead to mine, and swears, “I will never let anything hurt you. Not my mother, not my enemies, not even me. And definitely not this thing between us.”
“You can’t promise that.”
“Watch me.” His grip tightens slightly. “I promise you, Olivia Aster, that I will guard you with my life. From everything. Including myself if necessary.”
21
STEFAN
My life may have changed, but the forces that shaped me are still alive and well. And those forces demand that I wake up before the sun.
So I’m opening my eyes, though it’s the last thing I feel like doing. But for once, it’s not danger that pulled me from sleep. Well, notjustthe danger.
