Page 156 of Nine Months to Bear
Her laugh cuts me off. “You? Scared?”
I can only laugh right back, delirious and vulnerable. “Of course I’m scared,lisichka.I’m fucking petrified.”
“Of what?”
“Of screwing this up. Of becoming my father. Of losing—” I stop.
“Of losing what?”
You.The word screams in my head.Of losing you.
But that’s too much. Too close to something I’m not ready to name.
“Of losing this,” I say instead, gesturing between us. “Whatever this is.”
She looks at me for a long moment. Then she takes my hand and places it on her stomach. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“We’ll figure it out.” Her hand covers mine. “Together, like you said.”
Something loosens in my chest. Something that’s been wound tight since the day my father died.
“Yeah,” I agree. “Together.”
58
OLIVIA
Stefan’s hand rests on my stomach. My hand rests on his. Together—God,what a word,together—we sit and breathe in this moment, this impossible, unthinkable,how-could-it-be-happening-to-memoment where everything I thought I knew just shifted.
“So how does this work?” I whisper. “Us sharing a baby?” I hide my face from him, needing space to think. “Do I… do I live here? In your fortress? Or do we shuttle the baby back and forth? Do I become your live-in nanny who also happens to be the biological mother, or do I…? I mean, what the hell Stefan, what are we gonna do?”
“Jesus, Olivia.” He runs his hand through his hair. “You’re not going to be a fucking nanny.”
“Then what am I?”
“The mother. Our child’s mother.”
“But what does that mean to you?”
He looks genuinely confused. “It means you’re the mother.”
“Stefan—”
“A child needs their mother.” His jaw works. “I won’t take that away. Not from the baby. Not from you.”
The certainty in his voice makes my chest tight. “You really mean that.”
“I told you already: I don’t say things I don’t mean.”
“But the logistics?—”
“We’ll work them out.” He touches my face again, thumb painting over my cheekbone. “One day at a time.”
It’s not enough. Not nearly enough. But right now, with his hand on my face and our baby growing inside me, it’s all I’ve got.
My stomach growls, breaking the moment.
