Page 29 of Decked, Wrecked and Pucked
“How are you holding up?”
“I’m good. Weirdly good.” She meets Zeke’s eyes, lets out a breath, and takes another sip of wine, like it might help the words come easier. “I don’t think I was ever truly in it. There was always something missing, and maybe he felt it too. Maybe that’s why his dick got lost inside someone else.”
“At least you’re not pulling that self-blame bullshit.” Jasper’s jaw tightens. “I hate when people do that.”
“Another sign it was wrong from the start, right? I mean, shouldn’t I be ugly crying into my wine or dissecting every fucking thing I did wrong?”
“We all could’ve told you the guy was an ass,” Zeke says, leaning forward. “Pretty sure we did several times. And what happened to you getting out of here?”
“I don’t know.” She runs a hand through her hair, pulling out the elastic and letting blonde waves fall around her shoulders. “I can’t answer that. But I don’t regret spending the last few years around my family.”
“You always wanted more. That’s what Zeke’s saying.”
I’m not even sure what I mean by more.
Maybe freedom or love… Maybe us.
No—not us.
Them.
That door’s sealed shut for a reason.
“Maybe the things I wanted changed somewhere along the way,” she says, almost as if she’s trying to convince herself.
She drags her hands down her face, and fuck me if I don’t catch myself staring at the way it makes her chest rise and fall.
Focus, you dick.
“This is crazy,” she mutters, fingers pressed against her temples. “I shouldn’t be telling you all this. We haven’t… There’s been so much time, so much distance, and… Jesus, we don’t even know each other anymore.”
“That’s bullshit, Addie, and you fucking know it.” Jasper leans forward, his eyes burning into hers. “You’re still you, and we still care. So let’s get drunk, pretend time doesn’t mean shit, and remind you what it feels like to be yourself with us again.”
A few hours later and too many bottles of wine in, I’m watching Addison lose her filter one glass at a time. She’s matching Jasper shot for shot, while I switched to water an hour ago. Someone needs to stay clearheaded, and right now, that someone’s me.
“You know what else?” she says, leaning forward like she’s about to tell us a secret, wine sloshing dangerously close to the edge of her glass. “He was bad. Like… tragically bad. And I’ve never… well, I have, but…” She waves her hand like it’s gonna help the words make sense. “You know what I mean?”
Zeke nearly spits out his drink, and Jasper loses it completely.
Addison’s grinning now, flushed in the prettiest fucking way. “I mean, I’ve had orgasms before—great ones—but not with him. And the worst part?” She slams back what’s left of her drinkand points at us like we’re supposed to guess. “He thought he was the shit. Like he was doing me a favor by even showing up hard.” The three of us crack up, and her laugh—that real, unfiltered sound I remember from years ago—hits me right in the chest.
“Have you ever had sex so bad it felt like you needed to exorcise it out of your body?” she asks, her eyes wide and dramatic as hell. “Like, full-on shower, bleach, holy water—scrub your fucking skin raw just to forget they ever put their disgusting hands on you?”
“Can’t say I have, beautiful.” Zeke grins, clearly enjoying this version of her.
“Never?” She gasps. “God, lucky you. I’ve had more ‘what the hell am I doing with him’ showers than orgasms. One time it was so bad I cried into my loofah.”
Jasper’s choking on a beer. Zeke’s laughing so hard he nearly tips backward in his chair. And I’m ready to tell her to stop talking. Stop laughing. Stop being this version of Addison—messy, beautiful, and real as hell—because I’m sitting here, watching her come alive again, and my heart's remembering what it feels like to want her.
“I think it’s time to call it a night, angel.” Jasper drains his beer, laughing at the way she’s sprawled across the couch like a queen.
“What? Why? I’m fine.” She tries to sit up straighter, nearly dropping her empty glass.
“Fine, you are. Fuck me…” Jasper’s eyes roam over her, and I recognize that look.
It’s the same one he gives me when he’s riding me hard with his hand wrapped around my throat.
God, I’d kill to watch him with her.
