Page 40 of Velvet Thorns
Where she's mine.
I’m what she wanted. No, I’m what she wants.
And now I know. Deep in my bones, in the most fucked-up corners of my mind, I know with absolute certainty that when the day comes—when I finally crawl out of the shadows and step into her light—there’s nothing we can’t face. Nothing we can’t burn through. Because after all this time, it’s me she calls for.
Chapter 11
PHOENIX
I watch,mesmerized, as she thrashes and kicks, her body twisting, cheeks flushed red with fury and humiliation. There’s something wild about her, and it’s fucking beautiful. She wants to believe it’s the blood on my hands that’s sending her spiraling, but that’s not what’s really breaking her. No, it’s the way I’ve been close to her, day after day, obsessively and hungrily, with no shame and not a hint of apology. Now she finally sees just how far I’ve gone, how long I’ve been invading her world without her permission, and she hates knowing I’ve seen her at her most vulnerable. But I’d do it again a thousand times because she was never meant to live a life I wasn’t part of.
“Fuck you, Phoenix! Fuck you!” she screams, her wrists rubbed raw from how hard she’s pulling at the restraints. “Let me up. Let me go!”
I lean back just enough to take her in, chest heaving and betrayal written all over her face.
“Only when you settle down,” I say calmly, like we’re not both losing it in real time. “But I’m not in a rush, baby.”
“Jesus, Phoenix, you’ve watched me when nobody should have to be watched. You violated me,” she spits out, still yanking at the ties. “I hate you. I hate you so much I can’t even breathe when you’re near me.”
She doesn’t. She wants to, but hate takes more distance than I’ll ever give her.
Still, hearing it leaves something jagged in my chest.
Planting my knees on either side of her hips, I press my hand against her mouth to silence her, leaning forward and capturing her eyes with mine, watching the fierce darkness melt into warm gold as the connection we can't deny settles between us like a living thing.
“Stop saying that to me.” Her eyes narrow, and I know she’d throw the words at me again if she could. “You don’t mean it, Shannen, so stop fucking saying it. You have no idea how much it hurts.”
I drag my hand away slowly, still half tempted to press my palm back against her mouth and steal every sound she makes just because I can.
“You killed my parents.”
“Put your focus on that if you need to. Pretend that’s what’s fueling all this rage, but we both know better, don’t we?”
“Fine… you’ve humiliated me again, on top of everything else you’ve done.”
“Words, Shannen. Be specific.”
“You saw me in the most vulnerable way, and I didn’t give that to you. I didn’t know it was happening, and that kind of violation doesn’t just go away. Do you understand how dirty that makes me feel?”
“You shouldn’t feel like that because I came every single time you did, and it wasn’t about watching you. It was about having you, even if just in those stolen moments.”
“Do you even hear yourself right now?”
“You think I care that the way I want you borders on madness? I don’t. What I do care about is you feeling ashamed in front of me.”
I drag my knuckles down the curve of her cheek, surprised when she doesn’t flinch, though the fire in her eyes hasn’t faded.
“Tell me what’ll fix that.” Whether she realizes it or not, her eyes drop to the bulge straining against my jeans. “Baby… if you want even ground, all you have to do is say the word.” My thumb brushes along her jaw, tilting her face back up to mine. “If you wanna see how I lose every ounce of control when I watch you, I’ll give it to you. I’ll sit back, stroke my cock, and let you watch me whisper your name while I fall apart.”
I hear the slightest hitch in her breath as her fingers bite into her palms, and her legs stretch out a little beneath me, making her dress stretch tighter across her chest. She can pretend to hate me all she wants, but her body will always tell me the truth.
“It won’t take long, not with you spread out under me like this. Maybe then, you’ll finally understand why I couldn’t look away from you.”
I palm myself through the denim, popping the top button, and pretending I’m looking for her permission when I already know I’ve got it.
“Do it,” she whispers. “Show me.”
I unzip my jeans and shove them down just enough, my cock already pushing past the waistband of my boxer briefs.
