Page 66 of Before Eve
With a sigh, Anne grabs my hand and drags me out the door.
On the first floor of the hotel, there’s an enormous conference center that Ms. Kelly rented out. As we step inside, I immediately look to see if there are any reporters or cameras. But it’s a private one, with just the tour people and their plus-ones.
Four gigantic Christmas trees take up each corner, and twinkle lights drape from the ceiling. Food and drink stations line the walls. People pack the place, but the gigantic room makes it seem spacious in an overwhelming yet intimate way.
I take in everyone’s holiday clothes, looking down at my own usual jeans and screen print tee. I’m underdressed. Big time.
Anne’s very much in holiday mode with a white sequined top, black skinny jeans, and red stripes dyed into her faux-hawk. She even traded her usual eyebrow hoop for a red ball.
“You look really nice,” I tell her.
She gives me an odd look. “You saw me getting ready.”
She’s right. I did. Have I been that out of it?
“Listen, I don’t know what has been wrong with you, but you’re even more withdrawn than usual, and frankly, that worries me. Have some fun, okay? Have a drink. If somebody comes up to talk to you, then talk, for God’s sake. Make a new friend.”
I hate that I’ve worried her.
She hugs me. It’s the first one we’ve had since I hugged her in our hotel room back in Pittsburgh. God, does it feel good, so good I give her one last squeeze before she saunters off.
I stand by myself, listening to the holiday music and watching the fun. Such a normal thing. Even though I tell myself not to, I scan for West, but I don’t see him. I do see Toby, the drummer, on the other side of the room, surpringsingly behaving himself.
I walk over to one of the drink stands where the bartender gives me a friendly nod. “Want the holiday special?”
“Sure.” I take the glass he hands me and note my hands are shaking. What am I even doing here? What if I freak out again like I did at the other party?
“Everything okay?” the bartender asks. I nod and take a big gulp and cough.
He chuckles. “Easy there, killer.”
I chuckle with him and turn to survey the crowd again. Across the ballroom stand West and Simon with Illana and Kirstie. Of course, Illana’s here. Perfect, gorgeous, model Illana. Jealousy pings around in me, and it only irritates me. I have no place being jealous.
I take another big sip. This is good.
“What’s your job?” the bartender asks.
I turn toward him. He’s not so much cute, but he’s got a pleasantness to him that pulls it out in me, too. “I’m a roadie. I work mostly in sound.”
“That’s cool.”
Someone comes up to the bar, and I turn back to the crowd and West. He’s staring at me now and gives me a tiny acknowledging nod.Come talk to me,I will him.
Illana looks then. She touches his arm to draw his attention away.
It may be my imagination, but it seems to take him way toolong to look at her. What is he thinking? Does he want me here? Does he want me to leave? I can’t tell.
I finish off the drink and set the glass down.
“Another?” the bartender asks.
I nod. “Sure.”
He quickly mixes it and hands it to me. “Probably should get some food. There’s more liquor in that than you think.”
Good suggestion. But as I walk over to a buffet, I catch my step. Whoa. He’s right on the liquor. I load a plate up with meatballs, find a spot at an empty table, and eat them faster than I’ve ever eaten anything in my life. What can I say, I’m hungry and buzzed, and being buzzed makes me stop thinking.
I wipe my mouth and look back across the room. Illana’s touching West’s arm, pressing her breast into him as she whispers into his ear. But he’s looking over to the bar where I just was.
