Page 106 of Rival
His kiss is deep, and so much slower than he’d ever done it before, which I’m confused about. This isn’t one from a man who’s just looking to get laid. This is someone who’s doing his best to let me know everything he’s feeling.
His hand is still resting on my baby as if he’s unable to pull away, memorizing every bump and curve. When she rolls harder, his eyes pop open, and he chuckles, then leans away to drop his gaze down.
Every thought I’ve tried to work through in regard to Mason has left me, so when she kicks again and he lets my head go to put both hands on me, I step back.
Following, his hands reach to touch me again, but I hold mine up to stop him. “I need a minute.”
For the first time, Mason seems unsure. “Are you doing good? I can’t believe how big you are.”
That makes me come up short, and I scowl at him. “Big?”
Nodding his head quickly, he can’t stop staring at my stomach, which embarrasses me. Since I have a smaller frame, my baby bump seems more obvious than others, at least to me. “How far along are we now?”
“Twenty-four weeks, almost… andwe?Mason, what are you doing here right now?”
Snapping his eyes up, he seems confused by my question. “Are you kiddin’ me? You couldn’t pay me enough to stay away. I told you, I’ve fuckin’ missed the hell out of you.”
“You’re not making any sense!” I snap, then take a deep breath to calm myself. Speaking more slowly, I do my best to rein in my frustration. “Mason, you weren’t exactly thrilled about this situation when I told you. Not a word or sound, nothing.”
He opens his mouth to argue, but I cut him off.
“I’m sure you’ve got lots of thoughts on this predicament.” He narrows his eyes when I say that, but I ignore it. “I just can’t, andwon’t,be discussing it tonight. I’m absolutely exhausted and need to attempt to eat something.”
Growling, he focuses on the last thing I said. “What do you meanattempt?I can run next door and grab some dinner foryou. Mom always makes enough for lunches the next day. You know what? I’ll do that. Get yourself settled and I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“No! Please. I don’t need you to feed me. I’m sure I’ll be able to make something here. I just need—”
The sound of an engine drags both of us away from our standoff, and I shield my eyes when high beams temporarily blind me. Blinking away the dots, footsteps grow louder and before I know it, I’m swept into strong arms and lifted from my feet.
“Jesus, sweetheart. I’m so sorry. Sofuckingsorryfor everything. I screwed up so bad and I hate how I spoke to you.” Jaxon is mumbling his apologies over and over, but I remain stiff in his arms.
Throughout the entire nightmare of those two days, Jaxon’s words cut me more deeply than I even realized at the time.
“I don’t want any fucking part of that kid, especially if it’s got Hughes’ blood in its veins. When you manage to push it out, I’ll submit to a test and if it turns out to be mine, all you’ll get is money. Nothing more.”
I know his speech verbatim at this point. His voice lulled me into a restless sleep for the first two months I was gone. It wasn’t until I started speaking with a counselor who helped me work out my feelings that I was able to move past the hurt. The hurt that someone I loved as a friend, someone I trusted, and was developing deeper feelings for, felt torturous.
Maybe he realizes it, but his apologies eventually drift away until he is left clinging to me in silence. My stomach is tucked against him, his body heat warming me while the rest is left feeling cold.
He leans back to take all of me in. Without me having to say a word, he nods once and gently lets me down until my feet hit theuneven ground. Before fully releasing me, he cups my face and presses a kiss to my cheek.
It’s painful when his lips slip away and I close my eyes to fight the urge to follow. As much as I’d love to just pretend nothing ever happened, I can’t. Besides, he might only be here because he could be the father of my little girl, and I don’t want that.
I know what it feels to be unwanted, and I refuse to watch her struggle when someone who should just love her unconditionally isn’t there for her. She’ll get it from me, though. She’ll get everything I can give her, and I know I’ll have her love as well.
Tears begin to form, and I blink rapidly to get rid of them. It’s been happening far too often and I hate it. I drop my chin and turn away, only to come face to face with Mason once again.
“Edith,” Jaxon calls. I only turn my neck to glance back. “I understand how badly I fucked up. When you’re settled, would you give me some time to talk it through with you? I won’t make excuses, but I promise you, every word that fell from my lips were stemmed from hatred forhim. I have so much regret for the hurt I caused you.”
“You did hurt me. I’m not my father and—” I stop abruptly, and sigh. “We can talk later if you want. I just don’t think it matters anymore.”
Guilt punches me when his face falls momentarily, but he pushes past it. “I’ll show you it does. Thank you and I’m glad you’re home. You look incredible, by the way.” Peering at my stomach, the corner of his mouth lifts with a hint of sadness. “How’s the baby? I’ve been following online with growth charts and stuff. I’d love to see pictures and hear about everything.”
“Not tonight,” I whisper, rubbing at my stomach again, fighting off a bit of nausea. Slipping around Mason, I hurry to unlock the door and push my way inside, leaving them behind.There may have been a soft sound of frustration that rumbled out of Mason, but he didn’t stop me.
Taking a deep breath, I slap my hand over my nose and mouth, then bolt for the bathroom. Living in the home of a smoker, you get used to the smell of cigarettes and filled ashtrays, but I was not prepared for how revolting it would smell to me now. Being away for so long and only weeks away from my third trimester made it hit harder than I expected.
My knees slam to the unclean floor and I shove the lid to the toilet up, then recoil at its condition, gagging even harder. Utter panic takes me over and I scramble backwards to get as far away from how unsanitary my father was, but I’ve only got seconds before I either have to run upstairs or outside.
