Page 3 of Memories Like Fangs
He’s going to call you a dumbass, for sure.
My thoughts were racing, tangled, knotted, crashing into each other at breakneck speeds.
He’s going to say how you are the worst First Blade he’s ever seen, which you know is true already.
My heart was beating out of my chest.
He’s going to say everything you already know.
I wanted to throw up.
It’s going to treat you like you are a kid all over again.
Tears stung and overflowed from my eyes.
Pathetic. Powerless. Weak. Stupid. So stupid. So very fucking stupid.
My jaw clenched so hard I swore I heard a crack.
You’re nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
NO!
A jolt of something roared through me, clearing my thoughts instantly. That voice… It wasn’t my own. I didn’t recognize it at all, but it gave me the clarity I needed.
Where was all this anxiety coming from? Where was all this bad energy coming from? I was anxious sometimes, sure. I had self-deprecating and insecure thoughts. I had yet to meet someone with Autism and ADHD who didn’t. But this was next level, even for me. Why was there so much of it that Iwas drowning so suddenly? Not just drowning. Actually, the emotions that flooded me were so big, fast, and sharp… It couldn’t be justmyanxiety.
Then, it hit me.
It isn’t mine.
Oh, fuck me.
Byrd.
The realization was followed by an onslaught I could never have prepared myself for.
Her grief.
Her rage.
Her anxiety.
Her panic.
Her.
Everything bled into me through the bond, relentless and overwhelming. It was worse than the end ofTitanicwhere the water rushes onto the boat. No one warned me about this. It wasn’t slow either, but it was as torturous a fight as drowning was, with no promise of death on the other side. It persisted for what felt like forever. The pain wasn’t metaphorical. It hit like a real, physical thing. There would be no lifeboats that could save us, no rescue ship to board. The ocean itself didn’t even welcome us into her cold embrace. The ship simply never sank.
Yet, Byrd continued to be dragged under.
And, she was pulling me with her.
Rose had no idea what the meaning of you jump, I jump really was.
