Page 152 of Memories Like Fangs
She shrugged, her voice all sleepy silk and soft rolling thunder like a rainy day lo-fi playlist. “It’s kind of catchy.”
Clarkson padded over to Byrd, circling her once before trotting in step with her. The little traitor had claimed Byrd as her forever person as if I wasn’t the one who raised her the past four years. She barely gave me the time of day or spared me a backward glance these days. When Byrd got within reach of me, I pulled her into the space between my legs by her hoodie’s pocket. The sweet scent of Byrd mixed with the smell of her laundry filled my nose. I reached behind her and gripped her ass between my hands to hold her even closer. Her giggles were a beautiful echo throughout the parking garage. She crossed her wrists behind my neck while resting her arms on my shoulders. I was about to reach up and kiss her when I noticed Clarkson plop to the ground behind Byrd’s bare feet with a gentle groan, clearly content with her choice of alpha.
“You know, I had a dog once.” I narrowed my eyes at her. “When was it, Clarkson? When did you fall out of love with me and make me your Spare Human instead of your owner?”
Clarkson didn’t even lift her head to glance at me as if saying, “I said what I said, miss.”
Byrd chuckled. “I promise I didn’t take her on purpose! I was going to request shared custody of her and Dinah.”
“I have saved her life countless times, and we’ve been through enough shit together. I thought our bond was unbreakable.” I shook my head with mock solemnity. “Clearly, it just takes one hot piece of ass to come between us.”
“Well, like her mother, she’s got some good taste. I’m a big fan of her choices.”
Clarkson had found a stick nearby and was chewing on it with the same level of commitment I had toward revenge againstLilah. I laughed breathlessly. “She’s lucky she’s a cute traitor. Are the cousins anywhere near packed upstairs?”
“When I left, Nat was awake and putting on makeup, Simone was trying to get Cole up, and Cody was a lost cause that Maisie said she would just zap awake once everyone was ready.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m tempted to just leave them and take my chances.”
Byrd chuckled.
We made small talk for a while, trading answers to “How’d you sleep?” and “How are you feeling today?” until we fell into a comfortable silence. By then, Clarkson had fallen asleep, sprawled on her back with her stick abandoned, four paws twitching in a dream. I watched her round little pink potbelly rise and fall for a while. Byrd leaned her head on my chest, her fingers playing with one of my long curls, and I trailed my head up and down her spine, letting the calm settle between us. It was strange how much we needed the quiet after everything. I wasn’t usually a fan of silence. With my brain, things were never quiet, and the lack of outside noise only worked to amplify that.
Still, with Byrd the past few days, the world hadn’t stopped moving, but we had. We had rested, barely leaving the safety of her bedroom. We were able to pretend like we weren’t drowning under the weight of everything we’d done, survived, and still had ahead of us. It was peaceful, but peace was quickly becoming something we couldn’t afford. Even now, with sunlight stretching across the parking garage and our legs under us again, the wall I’d been trying to keep from my thoughts started to crumble, the reality and my feelings aroundthatday surfacing from where I had tried to bury them. I closed my eyes, trying and failing to stop myself from replaying it over and over again. My fingers absently skimmed the hem of my old one that looked so much better on her, where it hung past her hips.It smelled like her now. I pressed my thumb into the seams, grounding myself as the words spilled before I could stop them.
“I’m sorry,” I said, my voice rougher than I meant for it to be, like the truth was clawing its way out of me whether I wanted it to or not.
Byrd lifted from my chest, her brows knitting slightly and creating a cute little line in between that I wanted to smooth. “For what, Queenie?”
“For what happened to…” I shook my head and corrected myself. “For whatI did to youwhile I was under Lilah’s curse. You almost died because of me.”
Her expression shifted instantly, like clouds passing over sunlight, and her eyes were wet with tears. She leaned in closer into my hold. “Oh, Quinn, you don’t need to?—”
I shook my head again. “Please, just let me get this out, Sweetness.”
She nodded gently, her eyes never leaving me as she gave me the space to speak.
“When I was under Lilah’s blood curse, I…” I paused, trying to gather the mess in my chest and thoughts into something I could hand to Byrd without cutting us both open. “It wasn’t like I blacked out or was under a fog or anything like that. I was still in there. I felt everything. Her magic didn’tjustcontrol me. I know you know what it’s like, for her magic to burrow in like a parasite and feed off you. But, her magic did more than just that to me.”
My skin crawled remembering the feel of Lilah’s dark magic, and my stomach twisted with disgust. My throat tightened, but Byrd didn’t interrupt me. Strength and love just poured from her side of our mating bond to drive me forward. “Lilah’s magic crawled inside me, cracked open, and let loose the worst parts of me. She woke something up inside of me, something I’ve worked so hard to chain up and keep buried deep where no one could see it. Unfortunately, I’m my father’s daughter, and I got everybit of his temper and fire. But, I’ve always kept it in check and controlled. I’ve bottled it, trained myself never to give in to it, and I only use it when it’s useful. Lilah found and uncaged.”
I felt the words clawing their way out of my chest, jagged and raw. I had to look away from Byrd to Clarkson to maintain any trace of composure. “I… I didn’t try to stop it, Byrd. I saw red, and that’s all there was. Just rage and destruction. Worse, Iwantedit. I wanted to destroy everything. I craved the violence. The anger felt… good to release for once. It was easier than holding it in all the time. I just had to destroy anything that got in my way.”
My hands curled into fists in the hoodie’s hem. “When Lilah had you kidnapped in Washington State, there was a moment when I could feel you dying. Even though I couldn’t feel you on the other side, I somehowknewI was losing you. It felt like the world was ending, and there was no point in holding back anymore. This was just like that. I couldn’t feel you there anymore with the bond severed like it was, and I thought you were dead. Itbrokeme. So, I thought, fuck it. I didn’t care what happened anymore. I wanted to burn the whole world down to make it stop hurting, to make sure you didn’t die for nothing. I wanted everyone to pay. And then?—”
My voice cracked, just a hairline fracture. “Isawyou. I knew it was you, but I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop myself because the bond was severed, and I thought I had lost you already. It didn’tfeellike you. None of it felt real. So, I thought you were just another obstacle. I never want to hurt you, Byrd. But I couldn’t reach you. I couldn’t reachme. Even though I wanted to stop, even though something inside me was screaming to stop, it wasn’t enough.”
I swallowed hard, my throat burning like it still remembered screaming. I didn’t realize I was crying until Byrd’s hands came up to cup my face. I couldn’t see her expression through mytears, not that I could look her in her eyes anyway, with all my guilt. “I’m a fucking monster. I’m so sorry, Byrd. I’m?—”
Then, her lips crashed into mine.
The world stilled. The kiss was not soft nor desperate, not sweet nor frantic. It wasn’t full of pity nor gentleness. No, it was justreal. Open. Fierce. Forged in the fires of loss and pain, it was deep and anchoring, a flash of raw honesty that stripped everything down to just us, the truth, and this moment. Each swipe of Byrd’s smooth lips tasted like redemption, her tongue like resurrection. It was the kind of kiss that said,I’m still here, you’re still here, we’re still us, we’re still alive.It felt like I could breathe again without any pain or restraint for the first time since waking up from that nightmare. I was lucky I was seated; otherwise, my knees would have given out.
This is exactly why we’re fated mates.
When Byrd pulled back, she rested her forehead against mine. Our breaths were so close that they mingled together when she spoke, low and sure. “That wasn’t you, Quinn. I mean it. That washer. That was what Lilahdidto you. It’s what she always does. You weren’t in control. It was real, yes, but it wasn’ttrue. This—” Byrd touched my chest, her thumb brushing over my heartbeat. “—thisis true. The moment you stopped being under her control,that’strue. You fought her as soon as you could. You came back to me. Ifeltyou. Buried under all that rage, you were still there. You didn’t hurt me. You didn’t kill me. Hell, you really didn’t even try, if we’re being honest.”
“But, Iwantedto. I didn’twantto want to. But, Idid?—”
