Page 61 of Hard Rock Desires
Nineteen
Grace
When I first woke up I’d felt awkward about sleeping on Zain all night. Then I’d felt chagrined when I remembered how I’d acted at the party.
But it wasn’t until I was in the shower that I remembered something else that had taken place.
Running into Peter, that asshole, had made it slip my mind, but as soon as I had a free moment to myself, a moment away from Zain, I’d remembered.
Finn had been drunk, I was sure of it. Barely an hour into what was supposed to be a professional networking event, and Zain’s friend had consumed so much alcohol he was intoxicated and pulling off stupid stunts. He could have seriously hurt himself — and others, if that art piece had tipped over and fallen on people.
Then he’d essentially told me I was no good for Zain, and offered himself as a replacement.
The longer I stood under the shower spray, the more anxious I became. So I was relieved that Zain left without complaint. It was for the best. I had a thousand thoughts and worries swirling around in my head, and I didn’t want him to see me break down from it.
As it was, I had been close to tears when I’d been telling him about Finn, and when he completely blew off my concerns, the tears had almost started flowing.
I’d known that I had to bring it up, that I couldn’t let this worry fester. Especially not when things between Zain and I were becoming serious. Especially not after what we’d done last night.
Last night had been amazing. It had been wonderful.
But now, in the light of everything, the only thing I felt was worry.
If I tried to bring it up with the rest of the band, would they think I was overreacting? Making a big deal out of nothing? As it was, they probably already thought I was some kind of crazy person for confronting Peter like that. I wouldn’t have blamed them. They didn’t know the whole story. It was like I’d told Zain last night. They no doubt thought I was some pissed off ex-girlfriend. It would have made perfect sense, considering my actions.
And Zain now understood the reasons behind my actions. He wasn’t upset with me at all for making a scene.
That thought made me feel a little guilty for essentially kicking him out. He had been a really good guy about all of this, about me acting hot-and-cold, about all the back-and-forth, and now with what happened with Peter. Zain had been so understanding and caring last night, it made my heart ache.
But I couldn’t forget the way he had brushed off my worries.
If this was the kind of life they led, maybe I had been right about this whole thing not being for me. As much as I liked Zain, maybe I had been right before to keep my distance. Maybe getting close to him wasn’t a good idea after all.
I knew I was more sensitive to this kind of thing than most other people, and with good reason. But maybe that meant I had a better understanding of the situation. Zain clearly didn’t think anything was wrong with Finn doing something dangerous while drunk. Maybe it was because Finn was always like that. He had gotten drunk enough to smash into a glass table and cut himself open, after all.
But in the end, they were hotshot, famous rock stars. Wasn’t that what they did? Get drunk, do dumb stuff, hit on women, and party? Zain said they were serious artists who worked hard, but he also said they needed a way to let off steam.
Maybe I was overreacting. After all, Zain would know his friend better than I did. I’d only had that one conversation with Finn.
Maybe I was just projecting my own worries and fears onto this whole situation.
I thought hard about it as I washed the coffee mugs. I thought about it as I did the rest of the dishes that had piled up. I thought about it as I tidied up my bed, fixing the pillows and blankets that had gone askew.
I still hadn’t come to any conclusions when my phone flashed with a text message from Lisa.
Hey!the text read.How’s your baking class going? Let’s get together for coffee and catch up!
We hadn’t talked much since that night at the concert. We were friends, but it wasn’t like we were besties or anything, and the both of us were busy with work and school. She had called me, worried, to make sure I was okay since I’d left the after-party early. I’d told her I’d just left because I had an exam to study for and couldn’t stay out all night. We’d texted a bit as she probed for more details about my conversation with Zain. I hadn’t told her much, just that it was the usual flirting you could expect from a rock star. She had been disappointed that there was no juicy news.
I hadn’t yet told her that I was still seeing him, if seeing him was even the right way of putting it. I didn’t know what our relationship status was, and after everything that had happened last night, I was even more confused and conflicted.
I didn’t know how Lisa would react to hearing that Zain Weston from Until We Break had essentially stalked me until I gave into his whims. If you took a look at movies and TV shows, something like that would sound romantic. But in real life it was actually kind of creepy, wasn’t it?
I stared down at the phone in my hand, wondering how to respond to her text message. Did I want to tell her everything? Did I want to pretend everything was normal and keep recent events to myself?
Or maybe I could reveal a little bit of what happened and see how she reacted before spilling the whole story.
I’ve got something to tell you,I wrote back.
