Page 57 of Fun and Games
"It was like all the happiness had been sucked away, leaving me hollow inside," I murmured into Mason's chest.
Losing David had been like losing the sun. The earth might as well have spun off its axis and flung itself into the depths of space. There were no more bright rays to shine down on me. No more warm sunbeams to fall upon my face.
In that instant, the world became bitingly cold, dark and empty.
"I'd never felt pain like that before in my life," I said. "I almost didn't think I'd survive it."
Sometimes I wondered if I actually did. Sometimes I felt like a restless spirit, wisping from place to place, never able to find peace.
Mason buried his face in my hair, cupping the back of my head and cradling me to his chest.
"Sometimes I wished I had been the one to get sick," I said. "Because then I'd be gone and wouldn't have to feel the way I did. But it was selfish of me, because that would have meant David would be the one to suffer. And I wouldn't wish that on anyone."
"His name was David?" Mason asked quietly, and I realized I hadn't spoken the name this entire time.
"It hurts to hear that name," I confessed as my chest throbbed.
"I understand if you don't want to say it out loud," Mason said. "You don't have to."
"My parents and sister don't understand," I said. "All they wanted to do was talk about what happened. To force me to talk about it. But how could I, when I knew they were hurting just like me? David had been a part of the family for so long. It was their loss, too. Talking about it just made it worse, because I had to carry the weight of their pain along with mine."
Being able to talk about this with Mason, without having to worry about someone else, made the whole thing just a little less painful. A little more bearable.
I shuffled up to my knees and faced him, bringing a hand to his cheek.
"Thank you for listening," I told him, my throat scratchy and hoarse.
He brought his own hand to my cheek, wiping away the tears I'd almost forgotten about. My eyes were no doubt red and puffy, my hair a tangled mess. I probably wasn't much to look at right then.
But Mason didn't care. He stroked a gentle thumb across my cheekbone, catching the few stray tears that fell.
"I'm so sorry you had to go through something like that," he said, his own voice catching the way mine had. His expression was pained, but in a completely different way than I'd seen on my family's faces.
There was sympathy, and worry, and caring in those green eyes. It was enough to warm my heart, to slowly chase away the bitter cold that had filled my chest.
Mason handed me a box of tissues so I could wipe my face dry and discretely clear my nose. I'd turned into a blubbering mess in front of him, but he hadn't been fazed at all.
"Thank you for sharing this with me," Mason continued. "I know how hard it must be for you."
I drew in a shaky, liquid breath. "I didn't plan on ever telling you this." I hadn't planned on ever telling anyone.
"I'm glad you did," Mason said. "I feel like I know you a lot better now."
I closed my eyes and bowed my head, suddenly exhausted, worn out from all the revelations I'd disclosed.
"It's been a long day," I said. "I should probably head home—"
"Stay," Mason said. "It's still pretty early. We could watch a movie."
I lifted my head and saw his expression radiating sincerity. I hadn't scared him off with my tsunami of emotions.
"A Disney Princess movie?" I asked hopefully.
"I'd never dare suggest anything else," he said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood.
I snuggled down into his side as he pulled a throw blanket over our legs. As we watched the movie, Mason absentmindedly ran a hand along my back in a soothing, petting motion.
It wasn't like a sensual caress. It was meant purely for comfort. That puppy was really lucky to have someone like Mason as an owner, because he was great as giving reassuring pets.
