Page 41 of Fun and Games
The sentiment was oddly familiar, and I thought I might have heard those exact same words before. Or maybe Mason was just waxing poetically. Either way, I could appreciate what he was saying.
"Is that something you used to worry about?" I asked. "That your photos might seem feigned?"
Mason looked out over the tall grass, scanning the horizon as if looking for another subject to shoot.
"It wasn't so much the photos," he said. "It was more the people I was taking photos of. There's a lot of shit that goes on in the entertainment industry, and with music in general. It can be so shallow. So hollow." His eyes went dark as his mouth dipped down into a frown. "Sometimes it's hard to know what's genuine. What's real.Who'sreal." He glanced back at me, those green eyes looking stormy. "Sorry. I don't mean to get all depressing and philosophical on you."
"It's okay."
I'd never thought about it like that, but I supposed what Mason said made sense. Didn't most people say Hollywood was shallow? It shouldn't have surprised me to learn the music industry was the same.
"Do you regret it?" I asked. "Getting involved in the music industry?"
"No," he said. "I had fun, and it gave me a lot of opportunities I wouldn't have had if I'd just gone into accounting or business or whatever right out of school. I just wish…"
"Wish what?" I asked when he didn't continue.
He met my eyes. "I wish there had been more people like you."
My heart thumped in my chest.
"Why?" I asked. "What kind of person am I?"
Mason looked thoughtful, cocking his head and looking me up and down. It was so similar to the way he'd sized me up at the bar that first time we'd met. But back then, he'd been solely focused on the physical. Now, with those searching eyes, it almost felt as if he were peeling back my barriers and looking straight into my soul, as if he were seeing the parts of me that even I didn't know existed.
"You don't put on any pretenses," Mason started. "The more I get to know you, the more I see that the person you seem to be on the outside is exactly the person you are on the inside."
"Is it all that rare?" I asked.
He gave a sort of half-laugh, half-snort. "You have no idea."
"Tell me." I scooted closer to him, until we were pressed hip to hip.
Mason went quiet for a moment.
"The entertainment industry is full of a lot of people who don't have good intentions," he finally said. "I had to protect Connor from a lot of that. Music executives who will fuck you over on contracts. Venue managers who will stiff you when it comes to payment. Journalists who pretend they want to tell a feel-good story, but in reality they're getting ready to print trash about you. The people who pretend to be your friends just so they can get special access to things, so they can feel special too." Mason shook his head. "There's this one guy I know, he throws the most amazing house parties. Everyone wants to get an invite. But most of the people who party with him don't care about him. They just want to feel special. They want to be seen partying with a rock star."
"That must feel awful," I said.
"Yeah, I feel for the guy," Mason sighed. "I'm sure he's felt lonely, never knowing if someone was hanging out with him because they liked him, or because they wanted something from him."
"Is that what it was like for you?" I asked.
Mason went still, his lips pressing firmly together until they turned white. That stormy expression clouded his face again.
"It doesn't really matter anymore," he deflected. "I'm done with that whole lifestyle. The only thing I really miss is the chance to travel."
But from the dark look in Mason's eyes, I knew it did still bother him. Something had happened to him to make his voice go rough like that.
I couldn't imagine what it would be like, never knowing if the people around you had pure intentions, never knowing if they had ulterior motives. Always wondering if they were getting ready to screw you over.
I'd never imagined for a second David wanted anything other than my happiness. As much as my parents and sister smothered me, I'd always known the people in my life had my best interests at heart.
It sounded like, aside from his best friend Connor, Mason never had.
"You hungry?" Mason asked. "I packed some snacks in my camera bag."
"Good thinking," I said. "I didn't realize we'd be out here for quite this long."
