Page 34 of Fun and Games
"Those sound like wonderful dreams," Mason said.
"But I never went through with any of it," I said. "I always put it off. I'd say, I'll wait until I'm done studying for this exam before going away for the weekend. Wait until I've saved some more money before I take that summer vacation. Wait until after I'm done with college before going on that backpacking trip across Europe."
I was always the one holding David back from his dreams.
I thought we would have all the time in the world to do those things together, to experience life together. All those trips, all those fun experiences David dreamed of… I was always the one telling him to hold off. To wait.
And then David had gotten sick and that had been the beginning of the end.
Mason reached a hand across the table and covered mine with his. I hadn't realized I'd fallen silent, staring down at my half-empty plate.
"I'm sorry if I said something wrong," Mason said. "You don't have to talk if you don't want to."
I nodded distantly, trying to calm the whirlwind in my stomach. I shoveled a handful of fries into my mouth and chewed slowly while I thought about how to respond.
I looked up from my plate to find Mason staring intently at me. His hand squeezed mine briefly, encouraging me to continue.
"I had all these plans, and I never did anything about them," I said. "And then one day I realized I couldn't put life off forever. I didn't want to wake up one day and be filled with regret over all the things I never got to do."
Mason's eyes had a curious glint to them. I wondered if he noticed I hadn't explained what had caused that revelation.
"I get what you mean," Mason said. "Connor's the impulsive one, doing what he likes, whenever he feels like it. I was always reining him in. Always telling him to stop and think things through."
"Considering how long you spent memorizing that IKEA manual before starting, I'm not surprised," I said. "I bet you wish you never made that boast about it being easy. I never would have goaded you into it if you hadn't been so cocky."
"Putting together the furniture was a pain in the ass," he said, "but at least it meant we got to hang out some more."
My heart thudded in my chest. The curve of Mason's lips tilted upward in a smile.
The both of us had said we weren't looking for anything serious, but from the way Mason held my hand and the way his eyes locked onto mine, I couldn't help but wonder if maybe there was something more.
The thought sent my stomach tumbling over on itself, my nerves going haywire. I was torn between panicking and running away, or pulling him closer and kissing him.
The waitress came with the bill, saving me from either reaction. I reached into my purse.
"It's okay, I've got this," Mason said.
I took a handful of bills out of my wallet and shoved them in the waitress's hand.
"That's for my half." I stared Mason down, daring him to say anything.
He chuckled and held his hands up in surrender. "We'll split it fifty-fifty." He gave me a fond look.
My cell phone chimed, and from the tone I knew it was my sister. I ignored it, then it chimed again, and again.
"Sorry," I apologized to Mason as I pulled out my phone. "It's my sister. It might be important."
I looked to the screen. I read her message.
My throat closed up.
I couldn't draw enough air into my lungs.
I felt the blood drain from my face.
"Are you okay?" Mason asked. "What's wrong?"
"I need to go," I choked out.
