Page 86 of Hard Rock Muse
I’d just have to figure out another way to approach it.
I portioned the omelette onto two plates and brought them to the kitchen table. There had been some leftover red peppers, so I’d grilled them up in the same pan to serve as a side dish. Julian poured us both glasses of fresh orange juice.
“This is probably the most well-rounded meal I’ve had in weeks,” he said as he sat down in front of his plate.
“I have no idea how you haven’t died of malnutrition.”
“I take a daily multi-vitamin.”
“Somehow that’s not reassuring enough.”
Julian took a bite and raised both eyebrows. I waited for him to make a comment, but he didn’t. I took my own bite.
“This is good!” I exclaimed. “I thought that face you made meant I fucked it up.”
“I was going to say it was delicious, but I didn’t want you to think I was surprised.”
“It’s okay, I’m surprised myself,” I said.
“Maybe now that you’ve become a culinary expert, you can teach me a few tricks?” Julian asked.
“I wouldn’t go that far,” I said. “Not burning the eggs doesn’t make me an expert.”
“Maybe we can learn together,” he said. “Take some couples cooking classes. Be all domestic.”
He didn’t say it in a teasing tone. He just gave me a loving smile.
My heart fluttered. I’d been thinking the same. We were finally getting back into our usual comfortable routines. It was like that void inside me was shrinking, those years we’d spent apart no longer so insurmountable.
For all that our breakup had devastated me, maybe it had been for the best. We’d had our time to grow up, to mature. We’d experienced what it was like to be without each other.
And still, after all these years, we’d chosen to come back together. To me, it felt like all those years apart had only made the bond between us that much stronger.
But with the way Julian refused to open up to me…
I knew he loved me. That I didn’t doubt.
But was he willing to put in the work to stay together? Was he willing to do the emotional labor that came along with a relationship? Was he always going to keep a part of himself hidden? What if one day I pushed him too far and he ran away for good?
To me, it felt like nothing could break us apart again.
I wished I could be sure Julian felt the same.
