Page 54 of Hard Rock Muse
“Oh fuck, can you even imagine?” he chortled. “That would be a match made in hell.”
“I’m not saying I thought you actually stole him from me,” I said. “Even though Julian’s bi, I know you’re straight. But I thought you were stringing Julian along, making him think he had a chance.”
Seth’s eyes went wide. “Why the hell would I do something that shitty?”
“I know,” I groaned, putting my hands in my face. “I thought the worst of you. I was just so upset and angry. I think I just needed to believe Julian had left me for any other reason than my own stupidity.”
“It’s not stupid to want your dreams to come true,” Seth said. “That’s what Keith offered you. I wish you hadn’t listened to him, but I don’t blame you for doing it.”
“You should blame me.”
“I think we need to stop blaming each other,” Seth said. “I think we need to learn to forgive each other.”
“I forgive you,” I said immediately. “I get why you did what you did.”
“And I forgive you, too,” Seth replied.
We both seemed to let out relieved sighs at the same time.
“I’m glad we were able to work this out because I have a favor to ask you,” Seth said. “Would you take a look at the lyrics to my song and let me know if they’re shit?”
“I’m sure they’re not shit,” I said.
“I’m certainly not as good with words as you and Cerise,” he said.
“You can’t be any worse than Julian,” I said.
“How’s that going, by the way? Julian doesn’t talk much about what the two of you are doing.”
“It’s… going,” I said with a grimace. “We did have something, but Cerise said it was no good.”
“If she said that, then I’d believe her,” Seth said.
“The song needs to sound like a Julian Woods song,” I explained. “But everything I’ve written sounds like me.”
“That’s tough,” Seth said with sympathy. “I’m sure you guys will figure something out. You always wrote amazing songs together with the old band. That’s why I want your help. You’re so much better at this kind of stuff than I am.”
“Sure,” I said. “I’ll help you out.”
“Thanks, Ever,” Seth said with a bright grin. I didn’t correct him. He’d only really known me as Ever, after all. “I’ll make it up to you somehow.” He tapped his chin, looking thoughtful. His eyes lit up. “I know! Why don’t we get the old band back together? Just temporarily. We can practice a few songs, maybe do a small gig. What do you say?”
My heart squeezed painfully in my chest.
I hadn’t performed in so long. And I hadn’t performed a song by Where Angels Burn with the two of them in even longer.
There were so many nights when I lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling in the dark, wishing everything could go back to the way it was. I would have given anything for one more concert.
But in the back of my mind was a dark, swirling mass of fear.
What would Keith do if I tried to get back on stage?
I suppressed a shudder.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I’m pretty busy with my current work. I wouldn’t want to take time away from it.”
Seth looked crestfallen.
“Maybe when everything is done,” I added, hating to see that expression on his face.
