“Oh fuck…” I groaned, nearly collapsing on the sofa. “I can’t choose.”
He kept up the motions, fingering me roughly and playing with my clit. It was so much, and yet not enough at the same time. I needed more.
“Julian…” I whined. “I need…”
Without words, I fisted his hair between my fingers and tugged him closer, urging him on.
He crooked his fingers forward, hitting that one pleasurable spot, just as he sucked my clit into his mouth and sucked hard, using his lips and tongue.
I shrieked out loud, gripping his hair, hips bucking against him. I shook and trembled and nearly squeezed him to death with my thighs.
After long moments, when I finally came down from the high, gasping huge breaths, he slid his fingers out slowly and placed one last kiss on my clit. I choked out a cry, my body overly sensitive.
Julian knelt up on his knees, still between my legs. I kept my hands buried in his hair and pulled him up, crashing our lips together in a fiery kiss.
When we finally parted, I huffed into his mouth.
“I liked that game.”
“I figured you would,” he replied. He untied the scarf from around my head. “Although we kind of gave up at the end.”
“I guess we’ll just have to play it again sometime.”
My breathing finally evened out. I pulled Julian up onto the sofa. We traded soft, lazy kisses, cuddling up against each other.
After a few minutes, Julian broke our kiss and leaned back to look me in the eyes. He cupped my face, stroking the hairs at my temple.
“I wish I knew what made you change so much,” he whispered. “It couldn’t have just been because I left.”
I swallowed hard and ducked my head.
“I haven’t changed that much.”
Julian tipped my face back up with a finger on my chin.
“You have,” he said softly. “You’re less sure of yourself. More cautious. There are moments when I can feel you wanting to say something, but pulling back.”
I stayed silent.
I didn’t want to tell him everything. I couldn’t. I couldn’t let Julian know how weak I’d been, how stupid I’d been to let Keith treat me the way he had. I’d let it go on for far too long when I should have known better. I should have left sooner.
I buried my face in his neck. He wrapped his arms tight around me.
“Do you have anywhere to be today?” I asked.
“Nowhere but here,” he replied.
We sat together in blissful silence. It felt like nothing had changed, like the broken years between us hadn’t happened. The two of us didn’t need words.
But I knew someone who did.
Julian bringing up the past reminded me of something I’d realized the night before.
I owed someone a big apology.