9
Iexpected the rage I felt whenever Julian said Seth’s name would return when Seth popped up in front of us.
Instead, I was filled with a sort of nostalgic melancholy.
I’d once considered Seth one of my closest friends. We’d been in the band together for years. We’d shared laughs and tears, triumphs and failures, together.
I remembered the very first time I’d seen him put sticks to drums. I’d been fascinated by his wild, frenetic energy, by the manic look in his eyes when he played. He always put one hundred percent of himself into his performance, and then some. Seth had always been a bundle of spirit, always so animated and lively and he channeled it all into his playing.
Whereas Julian was more reserved, more cautious and deliberate, Seth threw himself into everything with gusto.
But there had also been times when that lively guy disappeared and I caught a hint of the Seth that was so rarely seen. Once, we’d lost our rehearsal space because we couldn’t pay the fee and had to scramble for an alternative. He’d been so downcast, so worried that the band wouldn't be able to go on. So worried we’d give up.
When I finally realized how distraught he was, I sat him down and told him nothing would ever come between us and the music. We were all in it together, and we would do whatever it took to succeed. Even if it meant getting second and third jobs on the side. Even if we had to sell all our stuff, like old clothes, signed copies of our favorite albums, even selling our goddamn plasma at blood donor clinics.
We’d done a lot of shit to make it work.
Maybe we hadn’t been through everything Julian and I had, but I still considered Seth a dear friend.
Until he stole the love of my life away from me.
“Hey,” I said. The greeting came out short, more curt than I’d intended.
Seth’s auburn hair stuck up in all directions, as wild as I remembered, as wild as him. His green eyes watched me carefully as he sized me up.
“How’s it going?” Seth asked. He was aiming for polite but I could hear the wariness in his voice.
I didn’t know what he had to be wary about. Maybe he was worried I was holding a grudge for him leaving the band.
He wasn’t exactly wrong.
But if he thought I was going to snap and call him out or start a fight, he was mistaken.
“I’ve been good,” I told him. “You?”
“Never been better.”
“Seems we might be working together.”
“Right,” he nodded. “Julian told me.”
I had to wonder exactly what else Julian had told Seth.
Had he told him about all those times we’d gotten close to each other? All those moments of tension? All those small touches and intense stares?
“I knew Julian was interviewing people,” Seth continued. “I never in a million years thought you might be one of them.”
“Small world,” I said.
Seth’s tense shoulders relaxed as he realized I wasn’t going to cause a scene. Julian watched the two of us, his whole demeanor tense and strained.
Seth turned to him.
“Awesome show out there,” he said, the grin returning to his face. “You rocked, as always.”
Julian’s face brightened and returned Seth’s grin.
“Of course I rocked,” he said. “Did you ever doubt?”