Page 69 of Hard Rock Heat
"Then what is it?" he asked, frustrated. "I'm trying to give you the space you said you needed, but I can't help thinking that I might have ruined things forever. And I want to fixthat."
"It's nothing you did," I repeated. Aside from proving to me how caring, wonderful and compassionate he was. Aside from making me fall in love with him when he could never love me back. "I'm just all mixed upinside."
"Are you really using theit's not you, it's mething?" He quirked a sad, ironicsmirk.
"I know that sounds like cliché pandering, but it's true. You didn't do anything wrong. I just need to get my headtogether."
"Get your head together about what?" heasked.
"About you," I said. "And me. And…" I waved my hand around in the space between us. "And whatever thisis."
"Is this your way of letting me down easy?" heasked.
I frowned, confused. "What?"
"Are you breaking up with me?" heclarified.
I inhaledsharply.
Breaking… up. Breaking up with someone required some kind of real relationship to begin with. I turned my eyes toDamon.
"I didn't know there was anything to break," I saidslowly.
"I didn't think there was either," he said, keeping his eyes trained on the road. "But when you said you needed space…" He took in a heavy breath, held it for a few seconds, and let it out. "It hurt," he said reluctantly, cringing, as if hating himself for saying those words, but forcing himself to speak themanyway.
My heart thumped loudly in my chest, pulseracing.
Damon quickly glanced atme.
"I've never been hurt by a girl before," he said in a rush. "I've never cared enough to gethurt."
Something in my chest exploded, like fireworks bursting from inside me. I looked down at my hands trembling in my lap, mindwhirling.
Damon cared. Damon cared enough toadmithe cared. I never thought I'd see the day. I'd never imagined, when Damon first hit on me, that it could ever come to this. I'd never thought things would becomeserious.
The question was, how serious did Damon think all this was? He couldn't possibly have feelings for me as deep as the ones I had forhim.
I could imagine the day Damon Drake realized he'd fallen in love, and in none of those scenarios did it involved him sitting calmly in his car. More likely, he'd have a freak out even worse than mine and run for thehills.
But he had just confessed he had feelings for me. Even if they weren't as deep as mine, that was brave ofhim.
I could be brave,too.
"I'm not breaking up with you," I said. "It's theopposite."
"Oppositehow?"
"I didn't pull away because I don't want to be with you." My fingers twisted together in my lap, nerves almost getting the better of me. Still, I pressed on. "I pulled away because I want to be with you toomuch."
Damon looked confused. "I like being with you,too."
I squeezed my eyes shut and gave in. "I mean, I like you." I was chagrinned at how it made me sound like a thirteen year old girl with acrush.
His confusion deepened. "I like you, too. Obviously. You think I've ever let anyone else into my home to rearrange my clothes before? You think I've ever waited by my phone for days hoping to hear from a girlbefore?"
My heart beat a small thrill. Damon had waited by his phone forme.
"I mean, I really like you," I said. "Probably more than I should, considering who youare."
