Page 92 of Hard Rock Deceit
My soaring heart came crashing back toearth.
Five percent wasn't terrible odds, but I knew the risk was unbearable to August. At least now he was able to drum, even if he needed to take drugs to do it well. Never being able to drum again wasunthinkable.
"What if you get a specialized surgeon?" I so badly wanted to fix this for him. "You can afford the best,can'tyou?"
"That five percent chance is withthebest."
"Whatifyou—"
He exploded off his chair, toppling it over. Startled, I jumped back as he loomedoverme.
"Do you think I haven't gone through everything? Do you think I haven't checked every possible option? There's nothing left to talkabout."
"I just want tohelpyou."
"And what a fine job you did." His distant eyes now burned into me, seething. "You told everyone about my little problem,twice, and got me kicked out ofmyband."
"You couldn't have kept this from the guys forever. Damon was right when he said some day you were going to end up hurtingyourself."
"That's my choicetomake."
"So your choice was to lie to yourfriends?"
His lips curved into a cynicalsmile.
"You want to call me out on dishonesty? You're onetotalk."
"I've never lied to you aboutanything."
"And what about those men you dated? You strung them along knowing full well you'd never feel anythingforthem."
My stomach hollowed out. Bile rose in mythroat.
"Exactly how long did you date those guys before finally breaking it off?" His words were low in his chest, a near hiss. "How long did you lie to them? How many times did you listen to them tell you their feelings, knowing you felt nothing in return? How many times did you lie back and pretend to enjoy it when really you were just counting down the minutes until theyfinished?"
Hurt resonated throughout my bones, vibrating in every cell. I couldn't breathe from it. My lungs shut down, refusing to takeinair.
August, so keenly aware of what I was thinking and feeling, was now using that uncanny ability to strike me right where it stung the most. He wasn't saying anything I hadn't berated myself over time andagain.
"That's different," Ichokedout.
August snatched his papers and pencil from the table, fisting them in his hand. "I don't need you lecturing me about lies and honesty." He stormed toward thehouse.
"August!" I scrambled out of my chair after him. "Just let mehelpyou."
"You can't,"hesaid.
"You don't need to do this alone." I reached out and grabbed for his hand. "You andtheguys—"
August whirled around, shaking myhandoff.
"There is no moreme and the guys," he snapped. "You made sureofthat."
My breath caught, my chest taking a blow. Tears stung the back ofmyeyes.
He grabbed the handles to the double French doors and yankedthemopen.
"Don't push me away," Ipleaded.
