Cameron, Noah, and Ian looked between the two of us. August slowly turned his head, locking eyes with me. His were clearer now, and still that vibrant blue. The vice around my heart gripped tight, stealing mybreath.
I didn't want to do this. I wanted everything to be back to normal. I wanted everything tobeokay.
But it wasn't. And I couldn't pretendotherwise.
"If you don't tell them, I will," I saidsoftly.
A slow, dawning horror spread across Ian's face as he and Damon stared at each other, like they were communicating withoutwords.
Noah tilted his head,confused.
"What the hell is going on?" Cameron asked, sitting upstraight.
August stayedsilent.
I steeledmyself.
"August took drugstonight."
This time, there were no protests, no shouting. The band members stared at August, waiting for him to confirm or deny it. He didn't makethemwait.
"I did," he saidquietly.
"Fuck… August…" Cameron sounded dismayed, not shouting like he had in the hospital, all the fight gone out of him. "Youpromised."
"I tried," he said. He looked each band member in the eye, earnest and not at all repentant. "I tried to go without. And you all saw what happened. You heard me out theretonight."
The twins eyed each other. Cameron ran his hands through his hair, revealing sad, dark blue eyes. Noah cast his gaze down, not meetingAugust's.
We all knew what he was talkingabout.
Perfect August Summers wasn't so perfectanymore.
And to him, that wasintolerable.
"You were fine tonight," Cameron said. "No onenoticed."
"You noticed," heaccused.
"The audience didn't notice. The opening acts didn't notice. You werefine," Damonstressed.
"Fine isn't good enough," he saidstubbornly.
The guys looked at each otherhelplessly.
"This doesn't have to be a big deal," August continued when no one spoke. "It's not like I'm snorting coke or shooting upheroin."
Cameron and Noah shared a glance. They looked hesitant to say anything. Ian's expression waspained.
Damon growled infrustration.
"You're abusing drugs," he said. "It doesn't matterwhatkind."
"I'm not anaddict."
"Right. So you can stop any time you want to. That's what theyallsay."
"I could," August agreed. "But Iwon't."