Page 21 of Hard Rock Deceit
"What do I do?" I askedfirmly.
"Start by developing more self-awareness," he saidbriskly.
I was taken aback. I'd expected an answerslightlymore…
Intimate.
"Take note of what you're feeling, why you're feeling it," he continued. "Use a journal, take notes in an app, whatever. Keep some kind ofrecord."
"That reallyworks?"
"Itdoes."
"Okay," I said doubtfully. "I can do that.Whatelse?"
"Challenge yourself. Go out of your comfort zone. Do things thatscareyou."
"I'm not goingskydiving."
"Why don't you start talking to people about your art and go fromthere?"
I flushed. I hadn't thought my reticence had been sonoticeable.
"This next one is the hardest," he warned. "You need todigdeep."
I frowned, confused. "Dig…deep?"
"Into your past. Into your pain. The things that shaped you, the things that turned you into the person you are today. You can't suppress it. You need to drag it out into the light. You need to wrestle with it, fight against it. You can'tignoreit."
I let out alaugh.
"I don't have any inner pain. I'm not damaged. I wasn't abused. I don't have some kind of terribleillness."
"Everyone's damaged somehow. It doesn't have to be huge or world changing. Maybe it was the mean boy who teased you on the playground. The teacher who treated you unfairly. Maybe it was the time a parent disappointed you. You need to harness that hurt. You need to channel it. You need to put it into your art. You need to wrestle with your demons, drag them out into the light, and triumphoverthem."
"That sounds hard," Iadmitted.
"Art is hard. Life is hard. But it'sworthit."
August's eyes shined with sincerity. He believed in what he wassaying.
"Is that what you did?" Iasked.
He raised an eyebrow,questioning.
"Do you have demons you wrestle with?" Iclarified.
The corners of his mouth turned down, forehead creasing into afrown.
"I don't want to pry," I hastenedtosay.
His foreheadsmoothed.
"It's alright. But yes. I haddemons."
"Had?"
"I worked through them," he said. "The same wayyouwill."
