Page 7 of Feral Touch
He had even driven me home a few times. The silence when he reached my house had always been slightly awkward. I’d wondered if he was ever going to kiss me. It never happened.
For a long time I had been too shy to say anything about it, too worried I’d been misreading his signals. Besides, he was always so busy with studying and sports and violin practice. There was no way he’d want to spend his scant free time with someone like me.
I remembered learning his birthday was coming up. A brilliant idea came to me. I would find out if there were any classical concerts going on and invite him to go with me. The concert tickets would be his birthday present. It wouldn’t officially be a date, but it would be a way for me to show him my feelings without needing to say it out loud.
Then Ren turned eighteen and I never saw him again.
Until last night.
I sat up straight. I needed to see more of him. That brief encounter hadn’t been enough. He was a famous rock star. There had to be tons of videos of Ren on the internet.
I was right. I searched for “Ren Feral Silence bassist” and over twenty million results came up. I clicked the first video I saw and sat back to watch.
It was an interview with the whole band. They were in a television studio with a well-known entertainment personality asking them questions. Behind them, a glass wall held back a horde of fans shouting and cheering and waving signs with the members’ names.
The video was only a minute long, so it must have been a short clip taken from the whole segment. The title of the video was “Ren is my bias”. It had been filmed a few years ago. How long had Feral Silence been together? Ren did look a bit younger in the video, his face less angular and his hair a bit shorter. Was this taken near the beginning of his music career?
I tugged my laptop closer and turned up the volume.
Ren sat between the lead singer and the drummer. He had turned around in his seat to wave and smile at the fans behind him. They jumped in excitement, hooting and shouting and vigorously jiggling around their signs and banners.
“It’s great to see you guys so energetic,” he called out. “Have you been waiting long?"
Several girls shouted out an answer, but their words were muffled through the glass. Two of them held up sleeping bags and pillows. They must have camped out overnight. Ren flashed them a smile.
“I hope we’re worth the wait.”
The crowd exploded with flailing arms and fervent nodding.
“Is that a yes?” he laughed.
“So Ren,” the reporter began. He turned around and shifted forward, giving her his full attention. “How does it feel to have all this fan attention?”
“It’s surreal. As a musician, you always hope that one day you’ll have screaming fans, but this—” he jerked his thumb over his shoulder to indicate the crowd, “—this is kind of nuts, you know? I think those two actually slept overnight.” He pointed to the girls with the sleeping bags and they freaked out, eyes wide, jumping up and down on the spot as their idol singled them out.
“You do seem to have very dedicated fans.”
“Our fans are the best.” Ren’s expression softened and his eyes shone brightly. “We owe them everything.”
“Isn’t it overwhelming at times? Surely you never expected this level of attention so quickly?”
“It can be,” he admitted. “But I wouldn’t change a thing.”
“It must be a new experience for you. I heard you come from small town in the mid-west.” My chest clenched at the reporter’s words. “Did your friends and family back home ever guess you would grow up to be a famous rock star?”
Ren’s easy smile faltered for a brief moment and his eyes flicked away, looking down. Then he lifted his head, perfectly composed. “I don’t know if I’d call myself famous yet. Feral Silence is hardly a household name. As for grown up—” he shook his head and laughed.
“Ren’s still just a baby.” The lead singer reached over and ruffled his fingers through Ren’s hair. “For a while he wasn’t even old enough to drink at the clubs and bars we played at.”
The reporter laughed along with the rest of the band and then the clip ended.
I sat back in my chair. The video only raised more questions. Why had he never contacted anyone from his previous life? He was a famous rock star. Any trouble he might have had would be nothing in the face of that. What in his life could possibly have been so bad he had to leave the way he had? Why had he left everyone?
Why had he left me?
The confident way he played his instruments on stage, the loving way he treated his fans, that bright smile he’d given me for a split second before recognition set in… He was cheerful. Upbeat. Those were words I never would have thought I’d use to talk about Ren.
Then again, the stories about Feral Silence made it sound like they basked in the adoration of their female fans. They took off their shirts during concerts and reached out into the audience to tease them and touch them. They actively encouraged fans to throw panties on stage and give out phone numbers.
