Page 54 of Feral Touch
My eyes lit up. I had almost forgotten Ren’s birthday. Of course two fans of Feral Silence would remember.
That giddy feeling came back. I was ready.
Before Ren had left five years ago, I’d been planning to give him a gift for his eighteenth birthday. I’d been secretly crushing on him but was never able to ask him out or tell him my feelings.
Then I got an idea. I would be bold. I would get tickets to a show by our local symphony orchestra. I would ask Ren to go with me.
I had researched all the shows that were playing. I remembered Ren talking about his favorite pieces and made sure some of them were going to be part of the performance.
I used some of the money I’d saved up from my after-school job. I had no hobbies aside from cello, so it wasn’t like I had anything else to spend my money on. Besides, the tickets weren’t all that expensive. It was more about the thought I put into it.
I was quite pleased with myself for having come up with the idea. Of course, I wasn’t going to call it a date. God, no. That was too forward. But going to a concert with a boy who I happened to consider a friend was a step in the right direction.
But I’d never managed to give him those tickets. Ren turned eighteen and disappeared.
“Here you go. One coffee, extra milk with one sweetener.” Ren must have been paying attention all those times I'd poured myself a coffee during long nights of composing. He sat down on the sofa next to me and placed the mug in my hands, his fingers lingering on mine, that soft touch sending heat straight to my core.
“Thanks.” I took a small sip, eyeing Ren over the rim. It was too hot to drink, so I put it on a side table to cool.
How did one go from casual chatting to making out? What was the protocol?
I also hadn't forgotten about those tickets. Should I wait? I didn’t know what his plans were. Would he have to get straight to work? There might not be a better time. Besides, it was almost midnight. “I have something for you.”
He looked surprised, but pleased. “Really? I was going to tell you that I have something for you. Let me go first.” Ren hurried to his bedroom, where I heard him rummaging around.
I was confused and intrigued. It wasn’t my birthday. What could the occasion be? My purse was on the other side of the apartment, on a table near the front door. I was about to go up and retrieve the envelope when Ren came back with a small box covered in red gift wrap.
I took it from his hand, weighing it silently. It was light. My heart thumped. Was it some sort of expensive jewelry? I swallowed nervously, a sick feeling sinking into my stomach. It was too soon in our relationship for that, wasn’t it? I didn’t want him spending money on me like that. I felt almost guilty. I didn’t want him to think he had to buy me expensive presents to keep me around. Besides, jewelry was for anniversaries and other special occasions.
“Tomorrow is exactly three months since I first saw you at that concert,” Ren said with a grin, looking at me expectantly. “I wanted to celebrate somehow. I was going to wait, but,” he shrugged. “Tonight is close enough.”
“Ren…” I trailed off. What if it was something crazy, like a ring? Was I going to have to turn down the gift and give it back? I carefully peeled the paper back, being meticulous about it. I was working out what to say in my head if it ended up being too extravagant a gift.
I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but I also couldn’t accept something ridiculously expensive. Our relationship was already too one-sided. He had all the power and status. I didn’t want to tip the scales even further.
My mother always did say I was too independent and stubborn for my own damn good.
The box was small and square. Not a ring box, thank god. I lifted the lid.
It was a key. I looked up, realization dawning on me.
“It’s a key to my apartment,” Ren said, even though he didn’t have to explain. Tears stung my eyes. I blinked them back, not wanting to get emotional on him. “We’re always so busy, I thought it might be a good idea if you could come over whenever you wanted. We could see each other more.” He took my hand and looked earnestly into my eyes. “I don’t want the only time I see you to be when we’re working.”
My heart beat madly, a sweet ache thumping in my chest. The gesture touched me. Ren really did want me to be a part of his life. But was it too soon for this?
“Thank you,” I whispered, not wanting to speak any louder in case my voice wavered. “But we haven't even—” I cut myself off, nearly biting my tongue.
“Haven't what?”
“Um.”
Ren ran his fingers through my hair, his thumb stroking my temple, running down my cheek to my neck. The tips of his fingers played lightly with the hollow of my throat. “We haven't what, Ivy?”
“You know,” I whispered.
He leaned forward to press a kiss on my lips. I returned the kiss, soft at first, but neither of us pulled back. Instead, he wrapped one hand around my hair and tugged me closer.
I’d been thinking about us intimately for weeks. Months. Since the very first night I’d seen Ren again. I breathed in deeply through my nose, taking in that earthy, masculine scent.He licked at my lips, urging me to open up to him. A thrilling spark went up my spine as our tongues brushed together.
